“It would certainly save time. And you know if you paid for everything, you wouldn’t have to try to scare people to get what you want.”

“Ah. Am I supposed to eat this?”

“I see.”

“You’re hungry, aren’t you? Well, eat this.”

“Lost? It takes quite some skill to wander this far into the Floodplains. Or are you a local? I very much doubt you are, though.”

“If I say it’s a pan, it’s a pan. The important part is that I’ll hit you with it if you try anything.”

“Ah.”

“Ow!”

“Harshly put, good Mistress. But yes, I would like to make amends. Let us be quits with no further unpleasantness! Or violence. And I am sure this payment is quite acceptable, is it not?”

“Fair point. Let me just amend my fee.”

“Only on occasion. And I quite understand your irate feelings. However, since I believe all is settled, I shall just…”

“What are you talking about? I’m giving you food. Are you allergic to the color blue or something?”

“Are you trying to sound impressive or do you actually talk like that?”

“…Perhaps.”

“Yes, well. I see you’ve established yourself quite nicely. This is—is quite a lovely establishment you’ve founded. Very quaint.”

“I, ah, came here to expand my horizons. This part of the continent—well, the local collection of city-states are quite hospitable to those people trying to avoid undue attention. Besides, food is plentiful if one has certain skills.”

“Take them. You look thin, and maybe if you eat them you’ll stop bothering other people. Thank you for your business. Come by again and I’ll feed you. Try to scare me and I’ll hit you harder next time.”

“Ah, this is understandable. But may I remind you that traditionally those who practice magic are beings of great power that should not be crossed?”

“Ah, but money is so…mundane. Where would the enjoyment in life be without variety?”

“…Want one?”

“My thanks.”

“And you’re an expert on [Teleportation] spells? I see.”

“No, no. I have no clue what kind of magic would be capable of that, if any. That sounds like a spell which—well, suffice it to say I know of only a few living mages who might even attempt such a feat. But if you were the target, it still makes no sense. Why would anyone waste such a powerful spell on someone as mundane as…as…”

“My physical appearance has nothing to do with—”

“I see I’ve overstayed my welcome. Well, your meal was quite adequate, good Mistress. Please accept my heartfelt gratitude.”

“…Necromancy.”

“What the—”

“Oh really?”

“One more insult or stupid little invisibility spell and I’ll break something.”

“You’re sweating.”

“I, uh, hope this is sufficient, good Mistress. I am of course willing to pay any dues to—to make amends, but I’m slightly low on coin at the moment.”

“Where are you going?”

“Are you aware that, ah, this fruit is poisonous?”

“Shall we just say I accept your word? I wouldn’t dare question your authority on the subject, good Mistress, it’s just that—”

“How rude. My advanced lexicon and diction is merely a result of my education, not a façade that—”

“The locals don’t like Humans that much. Which is a fact anyone in a hundred miles would know. This is the border to the Drake lands to the south. But you…didn’t know that, did you?”

“Like pretending to be a horrible monster?”

“Um. Thank you.”

“Fascinating as in ‘I know what spell that was?’”

“Yes, you. I told you why I’m here. What’s a raggedy mage doing scaring people for food?”

“Maybe not. But then again, the only two I’ve met were quite polite, paid for their meal, and didn’t try to threaten me when I first met them. Whereas the first Human I met was you.”

“Good for you. Got a hobby?”

“You would not be so quick to judge if you knew more about the people you’re defending. Especially this city.”

“Pisces, practitioner of magic, student of Wistram Academy, specialized in the Elementalist and Illusionary schools of magic with additional competencies in multiple spell schools.”

“How astute. She’s quite intelligent for an [Innkeeper].”

“I-I see?”

“Ah. Of course. Well, as a practitioner of the mystic arts, I feel it is always wise to be…generous.”

“I suppose the toxicity would be acceptable if it were just the fruit. Well then.”

“Now look here, there’s no need for violence, Miss. I can see that you are no ordinary plebian fool but an extraordinary plebian. Believe me when I say that is a high compliment from a practitioner of the arcane such as I.”

“My apologies, good [Innkeeper], for all these misunderstandings. Please accept this recompense for your wasted time.”

“Hey, stop that!”

“You—you could tell it was an invisibility spell?”

“Am I? Terribly sorry. Let me just, ah…”

“Would, ah, this do?”

“Well, if you have no further need of me…I did pay for my misdeeds, after all. Rather handsomely, I might add, given that no harm was actually done except to my person. So I won’t intrude any fu—”

“Stop it. You sound like an idiot.”

“You truly didn’t? Well, well. A traveller who doesn’t know anything about where she is…teleportation spell? Amnesia magic?”

“Really? You just turned a corner and you were in a completely different place?”

“Indeed. That is quite often the case. However, you seem to have taken to it well. This area is inhospitable to most Humans.”

“One does what one must to survive.”

“It occurs to me that I never asked your name.”

“In fact, good Mistress, that is in point of reality—”

“So. You’re paying me for trying to scare me and steal food?”

“Yeah, and they have fragile bones. I’m sure mages are really scary when they’re far away, but wands aren’t good at blocking frying…pots.”

“Uh huh. And you provide that by threatening people with illusions?”

“And I suppose if I don’t, you hit me with that pot, correct?”

“Do I have the option to refuse?”

“So, if I might inquire, what is a delicate flower of effervescence doing in such a locale?”

“This area is known as the Floodplains of Liscor. It’s because of a lovely natural phenomenon of the geography and—but you aren’t from here, if you don’t know about this area. But I would have guessed as much since you are Human. As far as I can tell.”

“Just answer the question.”

“It’s common. Well, not common exactly, but it’s the only explanation I can think of. Back in the Academy…it was not an unheard of phenomenon. I suppose you could have also been carried off by one of the local avian species, but they tend to drop their prey and chew their bones.”

“Fascinating. That has to be a very high-level phenomenon or artifact. Seamless teleportation without any visual cues and even sensation at that range? Not even our Archmages could…fascinating indeed.”

“What—who dares—?”

“Behold my p—”

“You know, I just wanted to see what would happen if I kept on staring at you.”

“Come back here and I’ll feed you.”

“Highly. The core of the Amentus Fruit causes painful death within hours if eaten. While the outer rind is safe for consumption, the inner seeds are toxic. You are aware of this, right?”

“Here. Totally non-poisonous food ready to be eaten. Happy?”

“Fine. I suppose there’s no use attempting to impress anyone who actually has the rudiments of an education. But my question remains: what’s a young g—woman like you doing out here alone?”

“How’d you guess? Actually, you’re only half-right, but how’d you guess?”

“Thanks, I guess. But if it’s so lousy—and it is, I totally know—why are you here?”

“I suppose one does. Does it make you feel good, stealing from innocent people?”

“Me?”

“So. You’re gonna hurt me if I don’t give you food, huh?”

“You struck me? Me? How dare you! I will have you know I am a mage of great power, and I will not be—”

“Try that again and I’ll hit you harder.”

“Ahem. Well, I shall be going. I am—terribly sorry for all that. It was just, ah—a spell which I—desperate times make fools of us all. And clearly, not you. Which is why I shall depart and not trouble you again.”

“Oh, but it is, it is! And you’re wrong, by the way.”

“I am completely innocent—utterly so. These baseless accusations are false and—”

“Last I checked, you were within arm’s reach. That means your fancy spells aren’t going to do a thing before I hit you hard enough to make your brains pop out. Trust me. I’ve done it before.”

“Oh, really?”

“Humans. You’re so arrogant and crazy. It’s almost funny. If you’re so full of powerful magic, dodge this.”

“Really? I thought—he didn’t seem dangerous. I mean, I hit him with a pot, and that knocked him out.”

“Can you?”

“If we’re done with the lovely chatting, my glass is empty. Isn’t attending to one’s customers part of my service?”

“Yeah. Last night, I was visited by a scary monster. But when I hit it with a pa—pot, it turned out just to be him. So I got him to pay up for scaring me. That covers all the food he ate, I guess.”

“About what?”

“You are lying.”

“Don’t worry, Miss. He’s no threat or we’d have taken him out when we first realized who he was. He looked more dangerous than he turned out to be. You see, both of us can tell if we’re in danger or the enemy is strong. This idiot couldn’t even use [Flash Step] properly!”

“Spoken like a truly ignorant fool. What would you know of magical mastery? My powers may not lie in mere confrontation, but I assure you, I have more power in my fingernails than you have in your entire brutish body.”

“The name is Erin, idiot.”

“Indeed. It has been nice to make your acquaintance.”

“Ah. I see the good [Innkeeper] holds a grudge. Well, I’m not sure what she told you two, but I assure you, I have compensated her more than adequately for my…mistake. It’s nothing two soldiers need concern themselves with.”

“Indeed you will. This is an affront!”

“Too bad!”

“Hold on, hold on. We don’t need to beat up Pisces. Like I said, he only tried to rob me. And I already hit him with a pot. What’s this about beating him up?”

“But he’s Human.”

“Or destroying us in a number of ways. The lack of lightning falling from the sky or [Fireballs] confirms this.”

“If you can.”

“Yes, yes. But we’ll just hit you and drag you back so Miss Erin doesn’t see anything nasty. But you’re in serious trouble now, Mister [Necromancer].”

“I am unsure of when he left. He may have escaped only a few minutes ago. We may still catch him if we hurry.”

“I did not say specialization is absent from the magical world. Rather, shall we say that those are titles for mages who meet certain requirements? A [Wizard] is an arcane researcher and true student of the arcane arts. Such individuals are similar to myself, but prefer to study the mainstream branches of magic. [Sorcerers], on the other hand, are quite simplistic and refer to those who use no spellbooks and have little formal education. [Warlocks] obtain their powers from other sources such as summoning, while [Witches] practice alchemy along with specialized schools of magic. Their…very peculiar magic, which is so rooted in folklore. Nevertheless, [Mage] remains the generally accepted title to refer to all those who practice magic as a catchall moniker…”

“My specialization lies in other areas.”

“You multiplied. Can Humans do that?”

“Nice customer you’ve got here.”

“The fee was extorted under duress.”

“We’re no soldiers. We’re [Guardsmen]. And we’ve been looking for the bastard who’s been robbing homes with illusion spells.”

“Gotcha. Tried to run from me, did you? No one ever gets away.”

“[Detect Guilt] is a basic Skill most [Guardsmen] get. I can sense your guilt, which is enough for me to justify this arrest.”

“Yeah, but he called me a common thug. I want to punch him for that.”

“Such as?”

“I paid no attention. The plebian masses are a burden to be endured; I bear no ill will to the misinformed or ignorant for their rudeness.”

“You want pasta? It’s in the kitchen. Get it yourself.”

“How about you do the magic spell where you turn into a monster? I’d love to see that. Or better yet, do you have a spell to get out of trouble? Because you’re going to need one now.”

“Actually, I would prefer—”

“Yes, we wouldn’t want to ruin the enjoyment of mindless thugs like yourself.”

“Right. Good. Anyways, we’re the ones with weapons, and you’re just a [Mage]. Not a high-level one either or you’d be teleporting away.”

“He’s not my friend.”

“Peh. You should drink. It’ll be the last tasty thing you eat for a long time. Actually, what am I saying? This stuff’s way too good for you. Just remember what you’re missing when we lock you away.”

“What do you want?”

“Well, well. Theft of a corpse and reanimation, no doubt. That’s another big mark on the list of charges. But necromancy, well, that also means we don’t have to bring you back alive anymore.”

“No. I’d be able to sense if he were within a few feet of me. This was an illusion spell. A damn clever one, too. He pretended he was here and walked off while we were busy chatting. Most idiot spellcasters aren’t that stealthy or…when did he creep off? Klb, it was when you let go of him! I didn’t even see the chair move—damn, the chair’s an illusion too! Normally I can hear idiots skulking around even on the battlefield! This bastard tricked me! Me!”

“Hey, you!”

“Ah.”

“Klbkch, got anything to tie him up with?”

“Plus, we already know all about you and your crimes.”

“Fascinating. But it’s still the elevated status of a common enforcer when all is said and done, isn’t it?”

“And speaking of which…we’ve gotta go. It’s my day off, but we’ll report that annoying Human maggot-mage back at the barracks. If we move fast, we might get him before he runs too far.”

“A keen observer would discern his opponent’s weaknesses and strengths and make assumptions based on their actions and ability. These two, on the other hand, are just using a Skill.”

“I have studied countless schools of magic. You see before you a practitioner of the elements, a weaver of illusions, a refined chanter, a master of alchemy, pyromancy, aeromancy, geomancy—”

“Oh, he’s probably as dangerous as a frog in a fight. That’s not the problem.”

“So we’ve gotta go. Why? Are you worried he’ll attack you?”

“It’s early. Yes, I guess I am open. Come in.”

“I would be only too happy to. But I fear I was quite parched, and if you would be so good…?”

“The term is mage, good Mistress.”

“Yes. And it’s not as if this is a particularly difficult task. I realize it may look so to the uninitiated, but a spell like this could easily be cast by a level 30 [Mage]. Less, I suppose, if the individual were specialized.”

“Greetings, good Mistress. I was wondering if I could impose upon you—”

“I would like to peruse your menu if I m—”

“Fewer words. Get to the point.”

“Um. Very well. Are you open today?”

“And a plate?”

“Alas, I did not anticipate an arrest, and my gear is signed out at the barracks. I am without manacles or spell-bind rope. We shall have to be attentive with its lack. Unless Miss Solstice has anything to bind him with?”

“We’ve been looking for you, Mister Mage. Or should I say, the scary creature that threatens travellers and people living by themselves? You’ve been stealing food and money for nearly a month. There’s even a bounty on your head, which I’d love to collect.”

“With magic, how else? Some shortsighted fool must have cast a localized weather control spell. Impressive, I suppose, but clumsy in execution. As for magical rain—have you never observed glowing rain in any color? Magical typhoons? Ah…raining toads?”

“You. This establishment.”

“It happens quite often. A natural weather phenomenon, you know.”

“Okay. So you’re saying [Mage] means anyone who uses magic. Next time, just say that.”

“Like dead bodies.”

“What? Oh no, that’s just Pisces. He’s annoying, so ignore him.”

“Yeah. Hey—shut up!”

“Shut up! You’re lucky I didn’t just toss you in the stream and let the fish eat you!”

“Pardon me. I would not dare to interrupt such august personages such as yourself. Please, proceed.”

“My scales aren’t itching, so your Human friend here isn’t that good at magic. They always itch when I’m in danger. That’s not a Skill, either. But your friend can’t even trigger my [Dangersense]. Not even a little ring.”

“No—no need, good Mistress Solstice. I am quite satisfied at the moment.”

“What? You told me yesterday. Oh, and were you the one who stole the skeleton upstairs? I just realized that was probably you.”

“He’s not invisible? He did that once.”

“Another drink if you would. My cup has run dry.”

“Ahem. Of course, that is how the phenomenon actually occurs. But the impetus is largely magical…I see you know your way around some natural events. This particular storm will not be raining any creatures, however. It truly was someone simply sending unwanted rain our way. It may be a scandal, although given how the Drake cities squabble—I detected it from the south. Perhaps as far as Pallass.”

“You asked. I was merely fulfilling my role as a guest.”

“Merely another branch of magic, good Mistress Erin. I note you don’t have the same aversion as a less-informed fool. Let me assure you—”

“How discourteous. I believe I shall bring my business elsewhere next time.”

“And…you let him come back for breakfast?”

“Do you want something? I don’t do magic upon request. If you seek a certain spell, I would be happy to discuss my remunerations…later.”

“Do not move. You are under arrest for intimidation and attempted theft. Remain still. Any sudden moves will result in bodily harm.”

“You’re still under arrest. I can hit you. It’s only because I’m being considerate of Miss Solstice here that I don’t. But I will. If you don’t shut up.”

“Well, he’s right. We do have Skills. They’re part of our classes, although in my case I’ve got [Dangersense]. But I’m also a former soldier. And Klb? He’s the Slayer. We can tell you’re not hot stuff, Human.”

“And necromancy.”

“Gone.”

“We thought he was just an illusionist. That’s annoying, but really all he can do is scare folks into giving him things. But a necromancer’s worse. Far worse. We could let him go if he was just a normal [Mage], but we’ve got to find him now, and he knows it.”

“Is this place open? Do you provide sustenan—food? I pay, I eat?”

“Where did you find—stay out of my kitchen.”

“Good morning everyone! Weird Ant behind me, friendly Human, and—oh.”

“And me. A second plate and a refill of my drink, if you would.”

“I don’t want it anyways. Besides, you tried to rob me last time. You’re here on sufferance because I feel bad for you.”

“Well, it’s not like he’s dangerous. Just annoying.”

“Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. Me and my friend here will drag you out back, beat you with sticks or rocks for a while, and then drag you back to the city for a reward. Then we’ll give half to our lovely innkeeper here. Sound good?”

“I am a powerful [Mage] far beyond your capabilities. Even if your paltry Skills cannot detect my—capabilities—you would do well to be wary of my hidden…capabilities.”

“Regardless if you know my identity or not, I still believe you will find capturing me no easy task.”

“Thank you for informing us of his class, Mistress Erin. Although he posed no threat to either Relc or I, he is far more dangerous than we had believed. I did not notice the illusion spell. I have grown inattentive, lax. Relc as well, but this is a critical failing on my part.”

“If I might trouble you for a knife and fork—”

“Seldom. It is a seasonal weather pattern to rain like this in the spring. Fall downpours like these are an aberration. Normally, I would not hazard a guess at how long the rain would fall, but someone has been interfering with the weather. So we’ll have a brief storm, that’s all. Hardly anything as memorable as magical rain.”

“Aha. Accept my apologies. But if you are referring to one of my exalted brethren, mage is the best term to use.”

“As I said, not that impressive. Many mages could cast a spell like this.”

“Sorry. Again. But…you said rob? As in, that guy over there tried to rob you?”

“My magic—”

“Please, please, good Mistress, let’s not be hasty!”

“Right, for how long? Days? Weeks? Months? And I get to feed you, make sure no one finds you, and clean up after you? Again: no. I’m barely getting enough food for myself as it is.”

“—Allow me to apologize. But if I might say a few words—”

“They will have patrols out around the city. They will scour the grasslands for me. Please, if you were to hide me, I would be sure to survive.”

“Is useless. Surrender.”

“That’s what I think of your spells. I’m a former soldier of the 4th Wing of the Liscorian Army. I’ve killed more [Mages] than you have levels. Now, are you going to die quiet or will I have to pay for painting the walls red with your blood?”

“She is correct. Without her testimony, we cannot submit a report regarding his attempted thefts.”

“I could still arrest him for attacking me. Yeah. I’ll just do that. Who cares about testimony or whatever?”

“I don’t know how I can thank you, good M—Miss Erin. Please, accept my humblest—”

“Where did you come from? I didn’t hear you come in through the door.”

“Would you turn away an innocent—”

“No. Out.”

“No. Go.”

“Surrender?”

“I can be ransomed. Quite highly! My school will pay ten—thirty gold coins in whichever denomination you like for my return.”

“But he’s still a [Necromancer]! That’s a crime no matter what he does! And he attacked us!”

“Out.”

“I was, in fact, upstairs the entire time. Under a bed. It was the simplest solution given the intelligence of those two brutish guardsmen.”

“Innocent? You? You’re nothing more than a thug with a magic wand. Remember how we met? You tried to scare me into giving you food. And now you want protection because you’re getting your just desserts? No. No, when I see Relc again, you’d better be long gone from here. And if you don’t leave now, I’ll kick you out myself.”

“Please, please reconsider.”

“Please, I beg of you. Just one night. Just give me sanctuary, and I swear I will be gone upon the morrow. It is my death without your aid. Would you kill me? I ask you as a fellow Human. Please.”

“Klb! Get over here and help! This guy’s slipperier than he looks!”

“I—I give up.”

“Still don’t care. I don’t need money if I can get rid of a stinking fleshbag like you.”

“What?”

“Good job, I guess. But they’re still going to find you. You’re a criminal, and you’ve got nowhere to hide.”

“I am a man in desperate straits. You would do well not to underestimate what I am capable of.”

“[Barrier of Air]!”

“Not likely. I’m gutting you like a fish right here.”

“But he’s—”

“Yes, you can. You have no cause whatsoever to arrest Pisces.”

“Out.”

“Except here.”

“Antagonizing one of my power is unwise. If you have any sense, you will accede to my request. Or know the consequences.”

“Why should I? Give me one good reason, Pisces.”

“Please, spare my life. If you have any pity in your soul—”

“Stop moving! Hey!”

“Last words, [Mage]?”

“Then I’ll arrest him, and he’ll be executed tomorrow. Happy?”

“Prove. It. Can you? Is there a way to check his, uh, class?”

“That would be inadvisable, Relc. We are off-duty, and Miss Solstice has stated her case. Executing a [Mage] of Wistram might also affect the Academy’s relationship with our city. Which the Council and Watch Captain would not be happy about.”

“Please, hear me out. Rest assured, I bear you no ill will for reporting my actions to the guard. I fully appreciate the severity of my crimes, however—”

“So, what? If I don’t decide to help you, will you hurt me? Bash my brains in? Or will you just rip my clothes off and try to rape me?”

“If I am caught, they will take me to the city. And there I will be judged and killed. This is a certainty, Mistress Erin.”

“Gotcha!”

“Desist your actions or—”

“Don’t be hasty!”

“I—I—”

“He’s a criminal.”

“You take one step in the city and I’ll—I’ll—you take one step in there and I’ll do something about it. If I so much as see you on my patrol—”

“You want something. What? To stay here? No. Nope. No way in hell.”

“Of course I wouldn’t do that. I’m no barbarian—”

“There you are!”

“You squirming—”

“I assure you, my life is worth far more than you would ever get for me dead. This can all be solved amicably. I will fully cooperate—”

“I have only ever done what I loved. Slay me as well, you thoughtless fools. Just like all of my kind. One day—one of us will follow Az’kerash.”

“No, he’s an idiot. But he didn’t do anything wrong enough to die for. All he did was try to scare me.”

“I assure you, you will never see—”

“So it would appear.”

“I assure you I would be a quite convivial guest. And I wouldn’t ask for much. In fact, you may be interested to know I am proficient in multiple schools of spellcasting. While necromancy is a—passion of mine, I have extensively studied the elementalist, illusory, and enchanting schools of magic. My level is over twenty in the general [Mage] class. Even amongst my fellow students, you would be hard-pressed to find a spellcaster as widely capable as I am. I can aid in a number of functions that would improve your inn. And I have money.”

“He didn’t want to tell you the truth! But he and I both know what happens to [Necromancers]. We—any mage possessing even a single level in the class—are all killed on sight in this part of the world! There’s no mercy for my kind here. The legacy of the Necromancer of Terandria, Az’kerash, lingers. Especially here, where his armies once sieged Liscor.”

“I—I seek no quarrel with you. I am a graduate of Wistram Academy and a practicing mage. You detain me at your peril.”

“Cooperate?”

“Nice last words. But remember—your Necromancer died here. Miles from this very spot. The Tidebreaker was his end.”

“He hit me with lightning!”

“I withdraw it. All of it. I was never attacked yesterday. This mage-guy never visited the inn, and I never saw him until today. So there’s no reason for you to arrest him.”

“However. As Senior Guardsman Klbkch, I will vouch for my partner to take this Human into custody for unlawful practices which include extortion, theft, and intimidation, which we have every right to suspect, with or without your testimony.”

“Shut up.”

“If I had a knife in my hand, I’d stab you.”

“And you’re telling me all this…why?”

“Now, now. Let’s not be hasty, good Mistress. I was merely saying—”

“Please forgive my rudeness. Are you well? We doubled back and lingered, knowing the criminal may have only pretended to flee the area. Are you hurt or in need of assistance?”

“Regardless of your affiliation to any academy, you are still under arrest. Please surrender now or I will be forced to employ lethal force.”

“Ah, but what good innkeeper would deprive herself of such a magnificent guest?”

“In point of fact, I was wondering if I might persuade you to shelter and provide me with my basic necessities while in this moment of dire need. I can provide you with adequate recompense, I assure you—”

“Move and I will stab you.”

“Even if you’re in danger, I’m in danger if I hide you. I’m not doing that. Run away. Just run away now.”

“By that? You think a piddly little [Barrier of Air] spell is going to stop me?”

“Gewil—”

“I can’t believe this. Are you defending him? Because he’s Human? Or do you not want the blood in here? In that case, I’ll take him out back and—”

“I will cease all magic and go with you quietly if you assure my life. I meant no harm to you or your companion. But we are at an impasse until you do.”

“I know.”

“You punched his brains out! That’s not enough to kill him over!”

“Are you serious? One word to our Watch Captain and she’ll send a patrol back to capture this idiot! And if we don’t arrest him, you have a [Necromancer] running around! You want us to let him go knowing his class?”