Quotes featuring Klbkch
204 quotes (124 spoken, 80 mentions)
“Is she female? I could not tell with complete accuracy. She sounded so, but I have met few Humans in social settings.”
“She was quite interesting in any case. It was pleasant talking to her.”
“Indeed.”
“See, this. This is why no one else is willing to be your partner. Along with you being, y’know, you.”
“Not if they did not cause it. Intriguing. Was it a magical duel, perhaps? Some high-level spellcasting?”
“Razorbeaks. Go on, Miss.”
“Of course we wouldn’t eat you! That’s barbaric, and besides, it’s illegal. I mean, okay, sure, it happens sometimes in distant villages, but we wouldn’t do that. Right, Klbkch?”
“Your duty? You’re…guardsmen? And you…you’re K—kbch?”
“Indeed. And I must apologize again, but our true intent in coming here was to ascertain the danger posed here.”
“Why don’t you shut up and let me talk? Look, Miss Human. You’re probably not sick if you’re still walking around.”
“I will pass for the moment. We should get down to business rather than partake of food.”
“To put it succinctly: we saw the fire and decided to investigate.”
“You said it poorly. I am merely rephrasing your words for the benefit of all.”
“Your hurtful remarks are unnecessary. Besides which, I believe we are getting off track. We are in the presence of a member of the general public, remember.”
“Well, to begin with, may we inquire where you come from?”
“Do you mean to say you found a Dragon? Somewhere around this area? And you—survived the encounter. Unharmed?”
“Oh, right. Those annoying things. What’re they called, Klbkch?”
“Well, after I got the eggs, there was a crab rock, I mean, a rock crab, and then I found blue fruits before that and…I met you two. A not-dragon and an insect. Who don’t want to eat me? Or is that after the meal?”
“Indeed. We would not violate our duty as guardsmen.”
“Our pardons. We have not introduced ourselves. Allow me to correct this mistake. I am Klbkch, Senior Guardsman in the employ of the City of Liscor. This is my partner, also a Senior Guardsman.”
“The plague. This location was once a small community until everyone here died. Horribly. Admittedly, this was a decade ago, but it was evacuated and has been condemned since then.”
“Actually, the plague symptoms manifested themselves as—”
“And not oozing.”
“Indeed. There is no law against occupying this area.”
“I will have another as well.”
“Indeed. It is part of our shared past. Once, of course, all races fought with tooth and claw and magic, but then they divided. Those who decided to forsake their natures and pursue a different truth received the gift of leveling, while those creatures who stayed true to their nature kept the might of their natures instead. According to historical records, at least. It is the subject of some studies, but that is the consensus.”
“I believe it was my turn to do that. Apologize to the Human for your rudeness.”
“You’re just an overgrown ant. You be quiet. Anyways, we’re special. Those guys are just amphibians that learned to walk on two legs. We’re related to Dragons. We’ve got special powers.”
“I am sure it is.”
“See? She gets it. Told you it was cool.”
“I feel I must mention that you, personally, cannot breathe fire, Relc.”
“Shut up. Ahem. We were just sent here to make sure no Goblins or nasty creatures started living here. We’ve got no problem with Humans. Well, at least the non-violent kind.”
“Indeed.”
“That would be a preservation spell. It is quite common among higher-class establishments.”
“What about it? Oh, are you wondering about mine? I’m a [Spearmaster]. This idiot’s a [Swordslayer]. We both have levels in [Guardsman] as well, but not nearly as much as our primary classes. Pretty cool, huh?”
“That is unusual. I was under the impression levels worked uniformly across all species. However, I too understand the issues of communicating leveling and the system of classes. Even so, it is odd to think there is a nation that does not teach it in some way. Unless you are referring to a cultural difference in classes?”
“Actually, I would like to correct you on that point. While the thinking races may level, animals and even creatures such as Dragons are not capable of leveling. Which is common knowledge.”
“Only a few differences, but the animosity between their cultures is—”
“Nice rocks to laze about upon while we should be performing our duties.”
“Shut up, Klbkch!”
“Please, I mean no harm. But your hand. May I see it?”
“It is not an infection.”
“It is poison. Of a sort.”
“There is a fish in the rivers near here. It secretes a mucus that damages the area it touches. Such as in this case. I have seen several similar afflictions as a guardsman.”
“Please, do not be alarmed. This is treatable. Allow me.”
“Yep. Good thing it’s meant to treat light infections too. Klb, are you going to…?”
“Please, believe me. It will heal you.”
“Thank you—ow!”
“No, no I’m not. And how can I—I can’t thank you enough. That—that was a healing potion, right? How can I repay you for—”
“Oh no, thank you. I mean, this is probably worth—can I get you another plate? Or—or you could come back. I’ll feed you two again if you want—”
“Shut up. She just seems lonely, that’s all. Why else would a Human female want to hang out with a Drake and an overgrown bug?”
“Her being a runaway would be most likely. I find it hard to believe any Human would wander so far into the grasslands by accident, and she did not seem to be looking for directions. Her magical teleportation story is also possible, but why would she not have asked to be taken to the Mage’s Guild? It is clearly a cover story.”
“You are correct in at least one definition of the word. But speculation is pointless in any case. We investigated the smoke, and now we can make our report. She is not breaking the law since the inn was abandoned nearly ten years ago.”
“She was not lying, at least not intentionally. But it is possible she was mistaken.”
“It seems more likely that she was hallucinating. However…she may have run into a fire-breathing salamander. I cannot imagine she would survive an encounter with a real Dragon. Armies would not.”
“…Indeed.”
“That was my assessment.”
“Agreed. And it is very restful. You should attempt it sometime.”
“So, shall we return tomorrow?”
“Again, apologies. But could I trouble you to remove the bandage?”
“This is a low-grade healing potion. If you pour it over your injury, it should heal your affliction.”
“Are you alright?”
“Apologies. It is unwise to hug those with exoskeletons. Please, are you hurt?”
“Please, it was nothing. That was merely a low-grade healing potion of no great worth. Let us call it payment for the meal. Unless, of course, you object?”
“I will accept gladly. But for now I am full, and I believe it is time to be going. We would not wish to intrude upon your hospitality for too long.”
“We are still on duty, if you recall. The Captain will be expecting a report. If we do return, we will have more time to socialize.”
“I am sure you would prefer that. But we are being paid to work, not to enjoy ourselves. Moreover, you are eating all of this Human’s dinner.”
“Shut up.”
“Mammary glands? Breasts, I think they’re referred to. Or maybe the word is tits.”
“That is what I heard some small Humans saying once. But she’s female. And young, correct?”
“Inquiring into others’ personal affairs is only a matter for the Guards while we’re on duty. Respecting another’s personal space is a principle of social interaction.”
“Do you believe she is a lawbreaker or fearful for her life?”
“It was almost certainly safe as I and Watch Captain Zevara assured you repeatedly, Relc. Besides, that young woman’s presence is proof enough. She would be dead within the day if the disease were still present.”
“I would prefer that you call my species by their proper name.”
“Fine. Antinium. Happy?”
“Bastard.”
“Right, right. Let’s tell the Captain and get some sleep. Or rather, I’ll sleep and you do—whatever Ants do to sleep. Sitting-sleeping or whatever.”
“Klb! That’s so devious! We can waste hours and say it was all an investigation! Now you’re thinking like a Drake!”
“Would you have had me tell her the true value?”
“…Perhaps.”
“We may be able to fit checking in there as part of our duties if we convince the Captain it is necessary.”
“I will endeavor not to in the future.”
“So, a lesser healing potion of no worth, huh? You know, I’ve never heard you lie like that.”
“How are you going to explain that to the Captain, huh? That’s supposed to be special-issue. We won’t even get another shipment of that quality for months, probably! All the way from Pallass once the Blood Fields are frozen.”
“You’re a regular do-gooder, huh? Trying to level up your…[Good Person] class? Is that a class?”
“I did not believe a lesser one would be worth the risk. I shall make do with a replacement, and I will deduct the cost from my pay. Besides which, it was used to protect a civilian.”
“You know fully well that I have no levels in any class of the kind. I was merely being kind.”
“I have no sexual attraction towards Humans. Unlike you.”
“Mm. It’s not very interesting. They are very fleshy.”
“Indeed.”
“Deviant.”
“Good evening, Miss Human. I was wondering if my colleague and I could take up a moment of your time—”
“You idiot. I told you this is why I should have opened the door.”
“Maybe it was a bad time?”
“Move over. Let me show you how it’s done.”
“Good job not scaring her.”
“Shut up. This is your fault. I told you I should go first. I’m not a horrific Ant.”
“Yes, but I have my badge on. You have not brought yours. Again. For the eighth day in a row. Therefore, I was the most logical choice to—”
“Now what? I do not believe breaking and entering would be appropriate at this moment.”
“What, are you crazy? Let me talk. That was just a misunderstanding caused by seeing your face. I’ll straighten all this out.”
“Am I a Dragon? Aha. Haha. Well, that’s just—oh, Ancestors bite me. I mean, do I look like one? I’m not even Oldblood, but maybe I do. Klb, buddy, what do you think?”
“You are blushing.”
“Be quiet. I’m in a good mood now.”
“Excuse me? I’m not a Dragon, Miss Human. I’m just an incredible Drake in service to the City Watch. Me and my idiot partner were on patrol when we noticed the smoke. May we come in? I promise we won’t bite.”
“Or inflict other forms of bodily or mental harm upon you.”
“Shut up. Are you trying to scare her?”
“…Hi.”
“W-want something to eat?”
“Good evening.”
“I would gladly partake of nourishment if offered. However, we would not wish to deprive you of your meal.”
“I will accept the pasta and water as well. But may I inquire if you have any more meat-based dishes? Corusdeer, perhaps?”
“A pity.”
“Well, I’ll gladly accept. Klbkch, you want any?”
“Almost.”
“There. I have signed us both out. Again.”
“A pity. Let’s be on our way.”
“You know we will be called upon to go after those who got away. And there is damage assessment, guard detail, investigating any burglaries during the violence…”
“Do not fret. The Human will not be going anywhere.”
“After you.”
“Klbkch and…Drake Guy.”
“They said they’d visit. But did they mean that or are they busy? Either way, I can always make more pasta and save some for later, right?”
“They must be busy.”
“Don’t insult the Watch Captain while we are within earshot.”
“Are you done logging out for the day yet?”
“What? How come you remembered this idiot’s name and not mine?”
“My thanks.”
“Actually, I did. Right after you two left.”
“Not entirely. I do believe my companion would earn a small fee for directing any business to his associates.”
“Shut up. Do you have to ruin everything I say?”
“I am merely pointing out the truth.”
“Well…stop it.”
“Oh. Oh. I forgot. And besides, you weren’t here yesterday.”
“Very true. Our absence was most lamentable. But allow us to perform our duty now. Incidentally, Mistress Solstice, the pasta was delicious.”
“Ah. I see the good [Innkeeper] holds a grudge. Well, I’m not sure what she told you two, but I assure you, I have compensated her more than adequately for my…mistake. It’s nothing two soldiers need concern themselves with.”
“Do not move. You are under arrest for intimidation and attempted theft. Remain still. Any sudden moves will result in bodily harm.”
“Please pardon our intrusion. Is this establishment open for business?”
“Alas, I did not anticipate an arrest, and my gear is signed out at the barracks. I am without manacles or spell-bind rope. We shall have to be attentive with its lack. Unless Miss Solstice has anything to bind him with?”
“A pity. But we shall do without.”
“You are lying.”
“[Detect Guilt] is a basic Skill most [Guardsmen] get. I can sense your guilt, which is enough for me to justify this arrest.”
“Good morning everyone! Weird Ant behind me, friendly Human, and—oh.”
“Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. Me and my friend here will drag you out back, beat you with sticks or rocks for a while, and then drag you back to the city for a reward. Then we’ll give half to our lovely innkeeper here. Sound good?”
“Do we have rules like that?”
“I believe that may be a Human standard.”
“I believe she is saying insults to our position are quite common.”
“It’s not just a job. It’s a highly prestigious job! Not just anyone can be part of the city guard, let alone a Senior Guard.”
“Perhaps if you explained our function more properly there would be no need for outrage. Clearly, the nature of guardspeople differs culturally. I thought Humans did it quite similarly in the north, but…elaborate, Relc.”
“Really. See, we’ve gotta get at least fifty ordinary citizens to vouch for us before we’re sworn in. And to become Senior Guardsmen like us, you’ve got to get at least four hundred. Impressive, right?”
“Or destroying us in a number of ways. The lack of lightning falling from the sky or [Fireballs] confirms this.”
“You can do that? Like—sensing each other’s power levels? Really? How?”
“A keen observer would discern his opponent’s weaknesses and strengths and make assumptions based on their actions and ability. These two, on the other hand, are just using a Skill.”
“Well, he’s right. We do have Skills. They’re part of our classes, although in my case I’ve got [Dangersense]. But I’m also a former soldier. And Klb? He’s the Slayer. We can tell you’re not hot stuff, Human.”
“Relax. I would prefer not to damage this establishment. Nor would the owner or even you, I suspect.”
“I am a powerful [Mage] far beyond your capabilities. Even if your paltry Skills cannot detect my—capabilities—you would do well to be wary of my hidden…capabilities.”
“Such as?”
“Regardless if you know my identity or not, I still believe you will find capturing me no easy task.”
“No. I’d be able to sense if he were within a few feet of me. This was an illusion spell. A damn clever one, too. He pretended he was here and walked off while we were busy chatting. Most idiot spellcasters aren’t that stealthy or…when did he creep off? Klb, it was when you let go of him! I didn’t even see the chair move—damn, the chair’s an illusion too! Normally I can hear idiots skulking around even on the battlefield! This bastard tricked me! Me!”
“I am unsure of when he left. He may have escaped only a few minutes ago. We may still catch him if we hurry.”
“Thank you for informing us of his class, Mistress Erin. Although he posed no threat to either Relc or I, he is far more dangerous than we had believed. I did not notice the illusion spell. I have grown inattentive, lax. Relc as well, but this is a critical failing on my part.”
“So. Does…that mean you’ll be back soon?”
“We should be able to cover the distance in approximately ten minutes if we run.”
“I do not believe she can, in point of fact.”
“Well then.”
“Klbkch, got anything to tie him up with?”
“Hey, you two! Klb—Klbk? It’s been a while. I guess. But come in. Or come in more. Have a seat. Want something to eat?”
“If you would be so kind. Thank you, Miss Erin. It is Klbkch, but you may refer to me as Senior Guardsman if that is simpler.”
“I believe staring is considered rude in most cultures. Sit down and cease your rudeness.”
“Please excuse my companion’s lack of tact.”
“I paid no attention. The plebian masses are a burden to be endured; I bear no ill will to the misinformed or ignorant for their rudeness.”
“Indeed. It has been nice to make your acquaintance.”
“Do you guys want pasta or blue fruit?”
“I would be delighted to try the blue fruit. I believe my tongue-tied partner would like some as well.”
“So, um, hi again. It’s been a while. Klb…Klbkch and…?”
“Relc.”
“No one insults me regularly. Except Watch Captain Z and Klb, come to think of it. People like me. Everyone likes us. We’ve got a special job.”
“A rogue [Necromancer] on the loose does nasty things. Even a low-level one can bring down villages if you give him enough dead bodies, and they level fast when that happens. Damn, I’m not going to be the one who let the next Az’kerash get away, Klb. We’re gonna have to hunt this guy down. If we can’t catch him today, I’ll have the Captain send out multiple patrols once we get back to the city. Erin, we have to go, but I think you’re safe if that guy didn’t do anything last time.”
“Sorry—sorry. It’s just the pincers. And the eyes. It’s just—sorry.”
“Do not be alarmed. I mean you no harm.”
“Don’t mind Klbkch. He’s ugly even for an ant. But you really can’t see the city from here?”
“I believe Humans have more limited eyesight than you or I.”
“Or me. However, you should encounter no problems. Only those with past records of crime are unwelcome in Liscor.”
“Hey, Klbkch, coming?”
“Indeed. It is unfortunate we must leave so soon. Our apologies, Miss Solstice.”
“She is correct. Without her testimony, we cannot submit a report regarding his attempted thefts.”
“Please forgive my rudeness. Are you well? We doubled back and lingered, knowing the criminal may have only pretended to flee the area. Are you hurt or in need of assistance?”
“Klb! Get over here and help! This guy’s slipperier than he looks!”
“I—I seek no quarrel with you. I am a graduate of Wistram Academy and a practicing mage. You detain me at your peril.”
“Regardless of your affiliation to any academy, you are still under arrest. Please surrender now or I will be forced to employ lethal force.”
“I have only ever done what I loved. Slay me as well, you thoughtless fools. Just like all of my kind. One day—one of us will follow Az’kerash.”
“No fighting. Not here. And no killing!”
“…I believe I am incorrect. Relc, the Watch has no authority here. This is an independent inn, and the [Innkeeper] is allowed to deny our authority here.”
“Males. They eat and eat and eat. And then I have to clean up the dishes. Typical.”
“I don’t care! No killing, do you hear me?”
“In point of fact, my comrade’s actions are not—”
“I believe Senior Guardsman Relc does have just cause, Miss Erin Solstice. It is true that his personal sworn testimony would be called into question if you were to speak against him. [Detect Truth] spells would settle that matter, but Relc’s history of inappropriate conduct on-and-off-duty does not help his case.”
“Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well, this is outside your jurisdiction! You said it yourself—you don’t patrol my inn! Therefore, it is my inn, and I deny your city’s authority here!”
“They lied to me.”
“…Right. It’s just that I’m new here. And I’m Human. Nice to meet you. My name is Erin. I, uh, know another guy who works with you. Relc? And Klb…Klb…the insect guy? So yeah. They know me. I’m no threat. And, uh, I saw some Goblins running around a while back. They’re not here right now, but I felt you should know.”
“Remember that [Necromancer] guy I told you me and Klbkch tracked down? She wouldn’t let us kill him even after he blasted us both with a few spells. Just kept saying that he wasn’t that bad.”
“No. If Klbkch can do it, so can I. Anything that damn bug can do I can do better. But hey, what’s this about a Human? Is it that female one I was telling you about?”