1.06

“I will accept the pasta and water as well. But may I inquire if you have any more meat-based dishes? Corusdeer, perhaps?”

“Your hurtful remarks are unnecessary. Besides which, I believe we are getting off track. We are in the presence of a member of the general public, remember.”

“I will accept gladly. But for now I am full, and I believe it is time to be going. We would not wish to intrude upon your hospitality for too long.”

“I am sure you would prefer that. But we are being paid to work, not to enjoy ourselves. Moreover, you are eating all of this Human’s dinner.”

“Me? I don’t like Humans. They’re scaleless, hairy, and they smell funny. I mean, this one’s nice, but I definitely wouldn’t want to see what it looks like under those clothes.”

“Look. It’s complicated, and I can’t really explain. But would you believe…magic? Like a crazy, crazy, uh, teleportation spell?”

“Am I a Dragon? Aha. Haha. Well, that’s just—oh, Ancestors bite me. I mean, do I look like one? I’m not even Oldblood, but maybe I do. Klb, buddy, what do you think?”

“Is, uh, that a bad thing? I mean, it’s a Dragon yeah, but isn’t he…?”

“I told you. It’s flattering, but I’m not a Drag—oh.”

“Not if they did not cause it. Intriguing. Was it a magical duel, perhaps? Some high-level spellcasting?”

“Indeed. And I must apologize again, but our true intent in coming here was to ascertain the danger posed here.”

“Why don’t you shut up and let me talk? Look, Miss Human. You’re probably not sick if you’re still walking around.”

“But you cooked it, then? Do you have levels in a [Chef] class, then?”

“This is—I mean, is it safe? For Humans?”

“You have? I mean, it’s not an infection?”

“This is a low-grade healing potion. If you pour it over your injury, it should heal your affliction.”

“We are still on duty, if you recall. The Captain will be expecting a report. If we do return, we will have more time to socialize.”

“Is she female? I could not tell with complete accuracy. She sounded so, but I have met few Humans in social settings.”

“That is what I heard some small Humans saying once. But she’s female. And young, correct?”

“It was almost certainly safe as I and Watch Captain Zevara assured you repeatedly, Relc. Besides, that young woman’s presence is proof enough. She would be dead within the day if the disease were still present.”

“You are correct in at least one definition of the word. But speculation is pointless in any case. We investigated the smoke, and now we can make our report. She is not breaking the law since the inn was abandoned nearly ten years ago.”

“Plus, we’d know if a Dragon lived around here. They’re pretty obvious.”

“She was not lying, at least not intentionally. But it is possible she was mistaken.”

“—It’s not that I’m not interested. I have an open mind! I wouldn’t mind looking. If I was offered. They’ve got nothing on good scales, but I could get over the fleshiness. Maybe.”

“The plague. This location was once a small community until everyone here died. Horribly. Admittedly, this was a decade ago, but it was evacuated and has been condemned since then.”

“Look. It’s getting sort of embarrassing. I’m not a Dragon. I’m a Drake. And yeah, we’re distantly related cousins, but Dragons are…there’s no way. That would be huge. You said you saw one? You sure it wasn’t a Wyvern? It was probably a Wyvern.”

“Bet she didn’t know. And her expression when we walked in—she’s never seen a Drake or an Ant before in her life. Well, the Ant part makes sense.”

“Of course we wouldn’t eat you! That’s barbaric, and besides, it’s illegal. I mean, okay, sure, it happens sometimes in distant villages, but we wouldn’t do that. Right, Klbkch?”

“Again, apologies. But could I trouble you to remove the bandage?”

“I would gladly partake of nourishment if offered. However, we would not wish to deprive you of your meal.”

“Even if she was, who’d hide there? You’d have to be mad, or be a [Warrior] or [Survivor] to want to live by yourself. Plus, the plague! Do I look sick? Am I oozing?”

“Our pardons. We have not introduced ourselves. Allow me to correct this mistake. I am Klbkch, Senior Guardsman in the employ of the City of Liscor. This is my partner, also a Senior Guardsman.”

“I did not believe a lesser one would be worth the risk. I shall make do with a replacement, and I will deduct the cost from my pay. Besides which, it was used to protect a civilian.”

“Mammary glands? Breasts, I think they’re referred to. Or maybe the word is tits.”

“Do you mean to say you found a Dragon? Somewhere around this area? And you—survived the encounter. Unharmed?”

“…You mean you don’t level in this Michigan place?”

“We may be able to fit checking in there as part of our duties if we convince the Captain it is necessary.”

“Inquiring into others’ personal affairs is only a matter for the Guards while we’re on duty. Respecting another’s personal space is a principle of social interaction.”

“Not bad! Especially if you just got here a few days ago. Did the notification wake you up right as you were falling asleep? I hate that.”

“Of course not. Why would anyone make a healing potion that hurts when you use it? But look at that!”

“You said it poorly. I am merely rephrasing your words for the benefit of all.”

“I believe it was my turn to do that. Apologize to the Human for your rudeness.”

“I will pass for the moment. We should get down to business rather than partake of food.”

“I will endeavor not to in the future.”

“Sorry, sorry, Miss. We’re not here to hurt you, I promise.”

“Let me just get a plate and…forks. Do you, uh, want a drink? I’ve got water.”

“…So someone on the walls spotted the smoke and called it in. Since it didn’t seem like a grassfire and since we knew this place was abandoned years ago, the Captain decided to send someone to check it out.”

“See, this. This is why no one else is willing to be your partner. Along with you being, y’know, you.”

“Goblins. And by the way, some Wyverns breathe fire too.”

“It’s just a possibility. This, uh, place is sort of bad. For your health.”

“Levels? Oh. No. I’ve got levels in, uh, [Innkeeper].”

“Shut up. Ahem. We were just sent here to make sure no Goblins or nasty creatures started living here. We’ve got no problem with Humans. Well, at least the non-violent kind.”

“And you’re an [Innkeeper], right? Got any other classes?”

“We can breathe fire. Some of us can, at least.”

“You’re just an overgrown ant. You be quiet. Anyways, we’re special. Those guys are just amphibians that learned to walk on two legs. We’re related to Dragons. We’ve got special powers.”

“Ooh, nasty. What happened there? Looks like a bad cut. Were those Goblins?”

“Only a few Drakes can do it, okay? Not breathing fire is perfectly normal. And some of us can, so there.”

“Or, and hear me out. Or…we could have more food and stay here longer.”

“Apologies. It is unwise to hug those with exoskeletons. Please, are you hurt?”

“I insist. That blue drink is really good, by the way.”

“Shut up. She just seems lonely, that’s all. Why else would a Human female want to hang out with a Drake and an overgrown bug?”

“You’re a regular do-gooder, huh? Trying to level up your…[Good Person] class? Is that a class?”

“How are you going to explain that to the Captain, huh? That’s supposed to be special-issue. We won’t even get another shipment of that quality for months, probably! All the way from Pallass once the Blood Fields are frozen.”

“Actually, I would like to correct you on that point. While the thinking races may level, animals and even creatures such as Dragons are not capable of leveling. Which is common knowledge.”

“Excuse me? I’m not a Dragon, Miss Human. I’m just an incredible Drake in service to the City Watch. Me and my idiot partner were on patrol when we noticed the smoke. May we come in? I promise we won’t bite.”

“Here. Uh, I’ve got juice as well. Want a glass?”

“I feel I must mention that you, personally, cannot breathe fire, Relc.”

“Michigan? I’m not familiar with that city. Or is it a nation…? Is that north of here? Over the mountains, maybe? On this continent?”

“…Yes. Yes, it is. I’m a Drake, not one of the Lizardfolk. There’s a big difference.”

“Only a few differences, but the animosity between their cultures is—”

“It—sorry, it’s a mess. I cut my hand, and I guess it just got infected, but—”

“Good evening, Miss Human. I was wondering if my colleague and I could take up a moment of your time—”

“This is a world. Everyone levels in it. Humans, lizard people, talking insects, cats, dogs, Goblins…”

“Shut up. This is your fault. I told you I should go first. I’m not a horrific Ant.”

“You idiot. I told you this is why I should have opened the door.”

“Move over. Let me show you how it’s done.”

“Shut up. Are you trying to scare her?”

“In a moment. Let’s eat first. This looks good!”

“To put it succinctly: we saw the fire and decided to investigate.”

“Indeed. We would not violate our duty as guardsmen.”

“Danger? Why danger? Is there something wrong with me staying here?”

“It breathed at me. Fire. And then I was chased by little green men.”

“Indeed. There is no law against occupying this area.”

“This really is quite good. How’d you make this all the way out here?”

“That would be a preservation spell. It is quite common among higher-class establishments.”

“They have to teach Humans how to level? Weird.”

“Nice rocks to laze about upon while we should be performing our duties.”

“See? She gets it. Told you it was cool.”

“There is a fish in the rivers near here. It secretes a mucus that damages the area it touches. Such as in this case. I have seen several similar afflictions as a guardsman.”

“Do you believe she is a lawbreaker or fearful for her life?”

“I can. It’s the things on her chest.”

“It seems more likely that she was hallucinating. However…she may have run into a fire-breathing salamander. I cannot imagine she would survive an encounter with a real Dragon. Armies would not.”

“Would you have had me tell her the true value?”

“Klb! That’s so devious! We can waste hours and say it was all an investigation! Now you’re thinking like a Drake!”

“You know fully well that I have no levels in any class of the kind. I was merely being kind.”

“Mm. It’s not very interesting. They are very fleshy.”

“She was quite interesting in any case. It was pleasant talking to her.”

“I have no sexual attraction towards Humans. Unlike you.”

“I would prefer that you call my species by their proper name.”

“That’s pretty much how it works. What were you confused about?”

“Now what? I do not believe breaking and entering would be appropriate at this moment.”

“Or inflict other forms of bodily or mental harm upon you.”

“Be quiet. I’m in a good mood now.”

“Agreed. And it is very restful. You should attempt it sometime.”

“Um. I didn’t see anything when it happened. I just sort of turned the corner and—look, the point is I suddenly appeared around here. And then…Dragon.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with you staying here. Aside from dying, that is.”

“Well, after I got the eggs, there was a crab rock, I mean, a rock crab, and then I found blue fruits before that and…I met you two. A not-dragon and an insect. Who don’t want to eat me? Or is that after the meal?”

“Oh no, no. Please don’t do that. I didn’t know it was so rude. If I’d have known, I’d have never—there’s a big difference between lizard people and Drakes, right?”

“Please, I mean no harm. But your hand. May I see it?”

“Please, it was nothing. That was merely a low-grade healing potion of no great worth. Let us call it payment for the meal. Unless, of course, you object?”

“Yep. Good thing it’s meant to treat light infections too. Klb, are you going to…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad we didn’t have to kill her.”

“Um. Sorry about that. Really. But, uh, can we talk about that name?”

“So, a lesser healing potion of no worth, huh? You know, I’ve never heard you lie like that.”

“What about it? Oh, are you wondering about mine? I’m a [Spearmaster]. This idiot’s a [Swordslayer]. We both have levels in [Guardsman] as well, but not nearly as much as our primary classes. Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yes. No. Maybe? Look, I level. You level. We level. Everyone levels, right? We all can level up in, uh, classes and gain skills. How am I doing so far?”

“No, no. It’s for the best. Mind you, I think she figured it out.”

“So four levels in…? That’s too bad. But you’re young; leveling takes time after all.”

“So am I going to die by puking out my guts or something?”

“They can level. Now, about what you just said. I’m not a lizard—”

“I’ll have a glass if that’s alright.”

“What, are you crazy? Let me talk. That was just a misunderstanding caused by seeing your face. I’ll straighten all this out.”

“Yeah. I made it myself. It tastes good, really.”

“Well, to begin with, may we inquire where you come from?”

“No, actually I got lost and—this is stupid. Why am I making excuses?”

“Uh, yeah. Every time I fell asleep I kept leveling. I’m, uh, level 4.”

“I will have another as well.”

“Oh, I see, I see. That’s convenient. Did you earn them here?”

“Uh—thanks. [Spearmaster]. Me. Him—[Swordslayer]. No, it’s cool. We’re [Guards]. Yeah.”

“Oh, I found some flour and butter and stuff in one of the cupboards. It had a runey…thing on the shelves.”

“Okay. Right. Um. Let’s pretend I have no idea what leveling or classes are. I’m, uh, from really far away, and we have different…traditions.”

“Yeah. You, um, called me a lizard person, right?”

“I am sure it is.”

“Please, do not be alarmed. This is treatable. Allow me.”

“Well, we’ll be off then. Good night to you.”

“Right, right. Let’s tell the Captain and get some sleep. Or rather, I’ll sleep and you do—whatever Ants do to sleep. Sitting-sleeping or whatever.”

“Oh, right. Those annoying things. What’re they called, Klbkch?”

“Well, I’ll gladly accept. Klbkch, you want any?”

“Oh, a [Teleportation] spell? Was it a misfire or did someone target you? That’s a Mage’s Guild issue.”

“Yeah, I’d bet on it. I’m not sure why a Human would be out here anyways, let alone in that place.”

“Yes, but I have my badge on. You have not brought yours. Again. For the eighth day in a row. Therefore, I was the most logical choice to—”

“So they are Goblins. But—well, hold on—then I found a giant dino-bird—”

“That is unusual. I was under the impression levels worked uniformly across all species. However, I too understand the issues of communicating leveling and the system of classes. Even so, it is odd to think there is a nation that does not teach it in some way. Unless you are referring to a cultural difference in classes?”

“Oh no, no. We level, it’s just, uh, different from you guys. And I never paid much attention in school and all that…”

“Oh no, thank you. I mean, this is probably worth—can I get you another plate? Or—or you could come back. I’ll feed you two again if you want—”

“Right. Well, let’s be going. Um, sorry about that, Miss. Here, let me just pay for the food…”

“Um. Give me a moment. I’ll open this door.”

“Uh. No. It’s a bit further than that.”

“Um. I gained levels just from cleaning an inn. And I wasn’t an [Innkeeper] before this. So why…?”

“Indeed. It is part of our shared past. Once, of course, all races fought with tooth and claw and magic, but then they divided. Those who decided to forsake their natures and pursue a different truth received the gift of leveling, while those creatures who stayed true to their nature kept the might of their natures instead. According to historical records, at least. It is the subject of some studies, but that is the consensus.”

“What about the Dragon? Do you think she made that up?”

“So…scared Human female? Not a threat? Probably a traveller? Makes good pasta?”

“What do you think? I bet she’s some kind of runaway or a child that got separated from her clan. Do Humans have clans? Or is it all [Lords] and [Ladies]? Maybe she’s not even from this continent.”

“Her being a runaway would be most likely. I find it hard to believe any Human would wander so far into the grasslands by accident, and she did not seem to be looking for directions. Her magical teleportation story is also possible, but why would she not have asked to be taken to the Mage’s Guild? It is clearly a cover story.”

“Not you, specifically. Really, it could be anything. We thought it might be a random fire or a few Goblins. If there were some stupid kids, on the other hand, we’d be dragging them back right now since it’s dangerous to stay here. Bandits on the other hand…”

“No, no I’m not. And how can I—I can’t thank you enough. That—that was a healing potion, right? How can I repay you for—”

“Good job not scaring her.”

“…No. No I do not.”

“Ooh! Pasta! This is good stuff!”

“A big…big leathery thing. With wings.”

“And this blue juice tastes good!”

“Your duty? You’re…guardsmen? And you…you’re K—kbch?”

“…Want another plate of pasta?”

“It is not an infection.”

“Really? I thought those were birds.”

“Maybe it was a bad time?”

“It is poison. Of a sort.”

“…Are you sure you’re not a Dragon?”

“Sorry, but can we ask you a few questions about where you’re from? It’s pretty odd to find a Human out here, let alone in an abandoned place like this. Not that we mean to pry, it’s just that it’s kind of our job to ask these questions.”

“Uh, don’t apologize. Look, maybe I overreacted a bit. I’m not, uh, mad…”

“Oh, that. New classes without an apprenticeship, you mean? Simple. You must have satisfied the requirements for the class, that’s all. I know it’s sort of weird gaining a new class suddenly, but it happens. I knew a guy who gained four levels in [Farmer] just because he kept growing carrots in pots next to his window. Not [Gardener], [Farmer]. I guess it was because he grew lots of carrots. Leveling is weird that way.”

“Actually, the plague symptoms manifested themselves as—”

“Shut up. I’m still sorry. But yeah, there’s a big difference. I mean, sure, Humans say we look similar, but we’re totally different. They have those neck frills, and they’re way too colorful. We build cities out of proper stone, but the Lizardfolk live near water and can breathe underwater too, some of them. They have Naga and, like, jungles in Baleros. Whereas we Drakes like drier climates. We enjoy warm sun, open spaces…”

“What? Oh, it’s no problem. Ask away.”

“Me? Hi, yes, me.”

“Razorbeaks. Go on, Miss.”

“Right, right. Um, good to know.”

“We’re still cool, right?”

“Please, believe me. It will heal you.”

“So, shall we return tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely. Right after work?”

“You sure? It doesn’t feel like—”

“What, really? How about Goblins?”

“Oh, so are you…lost? Or travelling maybe?”

“Hello, Miss. Sorry if we—”

“What, this? It’s nothing, it—”

“You are blushing.”

“What? No. I’ve got lots of pasta.”

“W-want something to eat?”

“Food’s over there.”

“I’m from Michigan.”

“That’s what I said.”

“And not oozing.”

“It’s very annoying.”

“Yeah. That sounds amazing. Really…really cool!”

“…Yeah, sorry.”

“What? It’s a great power!”

“Go roast yourself.”

“…Just let me sleep.”

“…Are you a Dragon?”

“Hello? Miss? We’re not dangerous.”

“That was my assessment.”

“Shut up, Klbkch!”

“Um, I don’t know?”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“Sorry. Sorry about that.”

“From what? Me?”

“Is that wrong?”

“It—it doesn’t hurt!”

“Are you alright?”

“Hey, what did you just call—”

“Um, no. No.”

“Really? So that means—”

“So…okay, let me think.”

“Yeah. Um, yeah.”

“Oh, thank you. It’s…blue.”

“Yeah, it’s awesome.”

“Sure, suuuure you were.”

“Good evening.”

“…Hi.”

“…Hi.”

“A pity.”

“It did.”

“Bastard.”

“…Indeed.”

“…Perhaps.”

“Ew.”

“Indeed.”

“Shut up.”

“Indeed.”

“Deviant.”

“Pass.”

“Indeed.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Yeah. A Dragon? Really?”

“So. Leveling. Classes.”

“What a lonely girl.”

“Okay. That’s great.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Miss?”

“Relc!”

“Dying?”

“A what?”

“Good. Thanks?”

“N-name?”

“Like what?”

“We wouldn’t?”

“Fine. Antinium. Happy?”

“Um, sure.”

“Oh, sure.”

“Right.”

“Hey!”

“Thank you—ow!”

“What?”

“Thanks.”