Plotplundering...
Plotplundering...
260 quotes (260 spoken, 0 mentions)
“We’re still cool, right?”
“I told you. It’s flattering, but I’m not a Drag—oh.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“In a moment. Let’s eat first. This looks good!”
“Oh, definitely. Right after work?”
“Look. It’s getting sort of embarrassing. I’m not a Dragon. I’m a Drake. And yeah, we’re distantly related cousins, but Dragons are…there’s no way. That would be huge. You said you saw one? You sure it wasn’t a Wyvern? It was probably a Wyvern.”
“Yep. Good thing it’s meant to treat light infections too. Klb, are you going to…?”
“Shut up, Klbkch!”
“Hey!”
“Shut up. Ahem. We were just sent here to make sure no Goblins or nasty creatures started living here. We’ve got no problem with Humans. Well, at least the non-violent kind.”
“This really is quite good. How’d you make this all the way out here?”
“Really? I thought those were birds.”
“We wouldn’t?”
“It’s just a possibility. This, uh, place is sort of bad. For your health.”
“That’s pretty much how it works. What were you confused about?”
“Oh, that. New classes without an apprenticeship, you mean? Simple. You must have satisfied the requirements for the class, that’s all. I know it’s sort of weird gaining a new class suddenly, but it happens. I knew a guy who gained four levels in [Farmer] just because he kept growing carrots in pots next to his window. Not [Gardener], [Farmer]. I guess it was because he grew lots of carrots. Leveling is weird that way.”
“Fine. Antinium. Happy?”
“And you’re an [Innkeeper], right? Got any other classes?”
“I can. It’s the things on her chest.”
“We can breathe fire. Some of us can, at least.”
“…Yes. Yes, it is. I’m a Drake, not one of the Lizardfolk. There’s a big difference.”
“They have to teach Humans how to level? Weird.”
“Oh, I see, I see. That’s convenient. Did you earn them here?”
“You’re a regular do-gooder, huh? Trying to level up your…[Good Person] class? Is that a class?”
“Shut up. She just seems lonely, that’s all. Why else would a Human female want to hang out with a Drake and an overgrown bug?”
“Not bad! Especially if you just got here a few days ago. Did the notification wake you up right as you were falling asleep? I hate that.”
“What? It’s a great power!”
“They can level. Now, about what you just said. I’m not a lizard—”
“Uh—thanks. [Spearmaster]. Me. Him—[Swordslayer]. No, it’s cool. We’re [Guards]. Yeah.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Why don’t you shut up and let me talk? Look, Miss Human. You’re probably not sick if you’re still walking around.”
“Not you, specifically. Really, it could be anything. We thought it might be a random fire or a few Goblins. If there were some stupid kids, on the other hand, we’d be dragging them back right now since it’s dangerous to stay here. Bandits on the other hand…”
“Of course we wouldn’t eat you! That’s barbaric, and besides, it’s illegal. I mean, okay, sure, it happens sometimes in distant villages, but we wouldn’t do that. Right, Klbkch?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Oh, thank you. It’s…blue.”
“So, a lesser healing potion of no worth, huh? You know, I’ve never heard you lie like that.”
“Or, and hear me out. Or…we could have more food and stay here longer.”
“Only a few Drakes can do it, okay? Not breathing fire is perfectly normal. And some of us can, so there.”
“Shut up. I’m still sorry. But yeah, there’s a big difference. I mean, sure, Humans say we look similar, but we’re totally different. They have those neck frills, and they’re way too colorful. We build cities out of proper stone, but the Lizardfolk live near water and can breathe underwater too, some of them. They have Naga and, like, jungles in Baleros. Whereas we Drakes like drier climates. We enjoy warm sun, open spaces…”
“Um. Sorry about that. Really. But, uh, can we talk about that name?”
“So four levels in…? That’s too bad. But you’re young; leveling takes time after all.”
“It’s very annoying.”
“A what?”
“Michigan? I’m not familiar with that city. Or is it a nation…? Is that north of here? Over the mountains, maybe? On this continent?”
“I’ll have a glass if that’s alright.”
“Um, sure.”
“Excuse me? I’m not a Dragon, Miss Human. I’m just an incredible Drake in service to the City Watch. Me and my idiot partner were on patrol when we noticed the smoke. May we come in? I promise we won’t bite.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with you staying here. Aside from dying, that is.”
“See, this. This is why no one else is willing to be your partner. Along with you being, y’know, you.”
“Well, I’ll gladly accept. Klbkch, you want any?”
“Be quiet. I’m in a good mood now.”
“Shut up. This is your fault. I told you I should go first. I’m not a horrific Ant.”
“Goblins. And by the way, some Wyverns breathe fire too.”
“Oh, a [Teleportation] spell? Was it a misfire or did someone target you? That’s a Mage’s Guild issue.”
“Sorry, sorry, Miss. We’re not here to hurt you, I promise.”
“Go roast yourself.”
“Am I a Dragon? Aha. Haha. Well, that’s just—oh, Ancestors bite me. I mean, do I look like one? I’m not even Oldblood, but maybe I do. Klb, buddy, what do you think?”
“Hello, Miss. Sorry if we—”
“Um, I don’t know?”
“Sorry, but can we ask you a few questions about where you’re from? It’s pretty odd to find a Human out here, let alone in an abandoned place like this. Not that we mean to pry, it’s just that it’s kind of our job to ask these questions.”
“Ooh! Pasta! This is good stuff!”
“Move over. Let me show you how it’s done.”
“Klb! That’s so devious! We can waste hours and say it was all an investigation! Now you’re thinking like a Drake!”
“What about it? Oh, are you wondering about mine? I’m a [Spearmaster]. This idiot’s a [Swordslayer]. We both have levels in [Guardsman] as well, but not nearly as much as our primary classes. Pretty cool, huh?”
“…So someone on the walls spotted the smoke and called it in. Since it didn’t seem like a grassfire and since we knew this place was abandoned years ago, the Captain decided to send someone to check it out.”
“Hello? Miss? We’re not dangerous.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad we didn’t have to kill her.”
“A Dragon? Really?”
“What a lonely girl.”
“Of course not. Why would anyone make a healing potion that hurts when you use it? But look at that!”
“Ooh, nasty. What happened there? Looks like a bad cut. Were those Goblins?”
“You’re just an overgrown ant. You be quiet. Anyways, we’re special. Those guys are just amphibians that learned to walk on two legs. We’re related to Dragons. We’ve got special powers.”
“Yeah. You, um, called me a lizard person, right?”
“…You mean you don’t level in this Michigan place?”
“But you cooked it, then? Do you have levels in a [Chef] class, then?”
“Right.”
“And this blue juice tastes good!”
“Oh, right. Those annoying things. What’re they called, Klbkch?”
“Oh, so are you…lost? Or travelling maybe?”
“Miss?”
“Shut up. Are you trying to scare her?”
“What, are you crazy? Let me talk. That was just a misunderstanding caused by seeing your face. I’ll straighten all this out.”
“You idiot. I told you this is why I should have opened the door.”
“Relc!”
“What a pain. Let’s smack some scales-for-brains quick. Maybe we’ll still have time to go to the inn afterwards.”
“Alright, let’s go. Man, I really hate Captain Z.”
“…Jerk.”
“Are you done logging out for the day yet?”
“I know, I know. But I was going to eat more pasta and—”
“What? Some idiot had to start a fight now of all times? We were going to go back and—”
“Great. Thanks. Now, wanna go check on that Human? I hear—”
“Aw.”
“She can eat my scales. Let’s go and get this over with.”
“But—we’re signed out—”
“Okay, that’s it. Close your eyes, Miss—”
“Peh. You should drink. It’ll be the last tasty thing you eat for a long time. Actually, what am I saying? This stuff’s way too good for you. Just remember what you’re missing when we lock you away.”
“Last I checked, you were within arm’s reach. That means your fancy spells aren’t going to do a thing before I hit you hard enough to make your brains pop out. Trust me. I’ve done it before.”
“Well, well. Theft of a corpse and reanimation, no doubt. That’s another big mark on the list of charges. But necromancy, well, that also means we don’t have to bring you back alive anymore.”
“Humans. You’re so arrogant and crazy. It’s almost funny. If you’re so full of powerful magic, dodge this.”
“Gone.”
“No. I’d be able to sense if he were within a few feet of me. This was an illusion spell. A damn clever one, too. He pretended he was here and walked off while we were busy chatting. Most idiot spellcasters aren’t that stealthy or…when did he creep off? Klb, it was when you let go of him! I didn’t even see the chair move—damn, the chair’s an illusion too! Normally I can hear idiots skulking around even on the battlefield! This bastard tricked me! Me!”
“Right, right.”
“A rogue [Necromancer] on the loose does nasty things. Even a low-level one can bring down villages if you give him enough dead bodies, and they level fast when that happens. Damn, I’m not going to be the one who let the next Az’kerash get away, Klb. We’re gonna have to hunt this guy down. If we can’t catch him today, I’ll have the Captain send out multiple patrols once we get back to the city. Erin, we have to go, but I think you’re safe if that guy didn’t do anything last time.”
“Less than an hour, but we won’t be able to stay. Sorry. I’ll try to get the patrol out faster, but you know how it is. We’ve got to shift around guardsmen on patrol, set trackers, get armed up, etc.”
“Well, he’s right. We do have Skills. They’re part of our classes, although in my case I’ve got [Dangersense]. But I’m also a former soldier. And Klb? He’s the Slayer. We can tell you’re not hot stuff, Human.”
“But he’s Human.”
“Yes, yes. But we’ll just hit you and drag you back so Miss Erin doesn’t see anything nasty. But you’re in serious trouble now, Mister [Necromancer].”
“What the—”
“Oh, he’s probably as dangerous as a frog in a fight. That’s not the problem.”
“We thought he was just an illusionist. That’s annoying, but really all he can do is scare folks into giving him things. But a necromancer’s worse. Far worse. We could let him go if he was just a normal [Mage], but we’ve got to find him now, and he knows it.”
“So we’ve gotta go. Why? Are you worried he’ll attack you?”
“The city? What about it?”
“…You mean, you don’t know? By the way, things look smaller in the distance, Miss Solstice.”
“Don’t be snippy. But it’s easy to spot. Look, you can even see it out the window here.”
“Well, yeah. Isn’t it obvious?”
“It’s not a rock. Why are you having a hard time believing me? Can’t you see the buildings?”
“What? That’s stupid.”
“Hey, Klbkch, coming?”
“Oh, sorry we forgot to pay. We’re in a hurry so—put it on our tab!”
“Look, the city’s that way. It’s only a twenty-minute walk, and there aren’t many monsters along the way. Besides, once you get within a few miles, the area is regularly patrolled, so you won’t have any problems. And if those idiots at the gate stop you—which they won’t—just tell them you know me.”
“And speaking of which…we’ve gotta go. It’s my day off, but we’ll report that annoying Human maggot-mage back at the barracks. If we move fast, we might get him before he runs too far.”
“Good morning everyone! Weird Ant behind me, friendly Human, and—oh.”
“You multiplied. Can Humans do that?”
“Humans. They’re so—”
“Ah. Eh. Um, what I meant was—”
“Right. Food. I’ll have some.”
“Shut up. Do you have to ruin everything I say?”
“Well…stop it.”
“Nice customer you’ve got here.”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry. Again. But…you said rob? As in, that guy over there tried to rob you?”
“What? How come you remembered this idiot’s name and not mine?”
“Aren’t I the better-looking one here? What gives?”
“Really?”
“Oh.”
“Ooh, pasta!”
“So, how’re you doing? Level up again?”
“Ooh, congratulations! Did you get a new skill?”
“That’s quite useful! Most craftsman and artisan classes get that early on. I guess [Innkeepers] are sorta like that, right? Got to take care of the inn, repair windows, fix tables, and all that.”
“Well, you’ve got the Skill for it, so it’ll be a breeze. And you can buy a hammer no problem. Just head down to the city, and you can get a good one for only a silver coin or two. Tell you what, if you’re ever in the area, I’ll help you get one at a discount.”
“Hey, you!”
“Really?”
“Good throw, huh?”
“Oops. Sorry, did I scare you? I forgot normal people aren’t used to that. Don’t worry—I never miss when I throw.”
“Good, good.”
“Klbkch, got anything to tie him up with?”
“Plus, we already know all about you and your crimes.”
“Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. Me and my friend here will drag you out back, beat you with sticks or rocks for a while, and then drag you back to the city for a reward. Then we’ll give half to our lovely innkeeper here. Sound good?”
“Too bad!”
“Wrong? Why would it be wrong?”
“Do we have rules like that?”
“Oh, good. I got worried there for a second.”
“And…you let him come back for breakfast?”
“And you didn’t think to report him to anyone?”
“Yeah, it’s great! Hold on.”
“How about you do the magic spell where you turn into a monster? I’d love to see that. Or better yet, do you have a spell to get out of trouble? Because you’re going to need one now.”
“Oh, but it is, it is! And you’re wrong, by the way.”
“We’re no soldiers. We’re [Guardsmen]. And we’ve been looking for the bastard who’s been robbing homes with illusion spells.”
“Gotcha. Tried to run from me, did you? No one ever gets away.”
“We’ve been looking for you, Mister Mage. Or should I say, the scary creature that threatens travellers and people living by themselves? You’ve been stealing food and money for nearly a month. There’s even a bounty on your head, which I’d love to collect.”
“Don’t worry, miss. We’ll do the punching outside where you don’t have to see.”
“Yeah, but he called me a common thug. I want to punch him for that.”
“Ten a what?”
“What?”
“No one insults me regularly. Except Watch Captain Z and Klb, come to think of it. People like me. Everyone likes us. We’ve got a special job.”
“It’s not just a job. It’s a highly prestigious job! Not just anyone can be part of the city guard, let alone a Senior Guard.”
“Signed up? Can you believe this? Humans.”
“Right, well. It’s still not—okay.”
“Doesn’t stick so well on scales. Anyways, we’ve gotta pay a fine if we lose it, so why risk it, right? I only need it when I want to prove who I am or pull rank, anyways.”
“You’re still under arrest. I can hit you. It’s only because I’m being considerate of Miss Solstice here that I don’t. But I will. If you don’t shut up.”
“Right. Good. Anyways, we’re the ones with weapons, and you’re just a [Mage]. Not a high-level one either or you’d be teleporting away.”
“Look, I’m not sure what Humans do, but in our city, the city watch isn’t like mercenaries or personal bodyguards. We don’t just sign up. We have to be voted in.”
“Really. See, we’ve gotta get at least fifty ordinary citizens to vouch for us before we’re sworn in. And to become Senior Guardsmen like us, you’ve got to get at least four hundred. Impressive, right?”
“Yeah. We’ve got to keep it on us at all times. Some guys wear it on their chests, but it can get ripped off. Besides…”
“Don’t worry, Miss. He’s no threat or we’d have taken him out when we first realized who he was. He looked more dangerous than he turned out to be. You see, both of us can tell if we’re in danger or the enemy is strong. This idiot couldn’t even use [Flash Step] properly!”
“You squirming—”
“Can she?”
“Then I’ll arrest him, and he’ll be executed tomorrow. Happy?”
“What?”
“Nice last words. But remember—your Necromancer died here. Miles from this very spot. The Tidebreaker was his end.”
“Hey.”
“That’s what I think of your spells. I’m a former soldier of the 4th Wing of the Liscorian Army. I’ve killed more [Mages] than you have levels. Now, are you going to die quiet or will I have to pay for painting the walls red with your blood?”
“Not likely. I’m gutting you like a fish right here.”
“By that? You think a piddly little [Barrier of Air] spell is going to stop me?”
“I can’t believe this. Are you defending him? Because he’s Human? Or do you not want the blood in here? In that case, I’ll take him out back and—”
“But he’s—”
“Surrender?”
“There you are!”
“Last words, [Mage]?”
“Cooperate?”
“Klb! Get over here and help! This guy’s slipperier than he looks!”
“Gotcha!”
“He hit me with lightning!”
“Still don’t care. I don’t need money if I can get rid of a stinking fleshbag like you.”
“He’s a criminal.”
“Shut up.”
“Are you serious? One word to our Watch Captain and she’ll send a patrol back to capture this idiot! And if we don’t arrest him, you have a [Necromancer] running around! You want us to let him go knowing his class?”
“But he’s still a [Necromancer]! That’s a crime no matter what he does! And he attacked us!”
“Humans!”
“Wait—what did she just say? Jurisdic—we don’t do that, do we, Klb? Buddy?”
“Klb—help me out here!”
“No, I can’t.”
“You can’t do that!”
“You take one step in the city and I’ll—I’ll—you take one step in there and I’ll do something about it. If I so much as see you on my patrol—”
“I could still arrest him for attacking me. Yeah. I’ll just do that. Who cares about testimony or whatever?”
“What?”
“You what?”
“What? Then let’s arrest her too!”
“Got you bastards. You can’t run from Relc! Damn, I thought there were three of you? Whatever. If Erin doesn’t love this—now I need to find some wood. Damn. I should be having dinner!”
“Look, I’m still really sorry about before. I didn’t mean—well, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Oh come on. Don’t be like that. I just—well, it was just me being careless, alright? Let’s talk. Please?”
“Hey! Slither off, you little bastards!”
“They’re interesting and entertaining, but they don’t have much inside their fleshy heads. I’d never trust a Human to have my back. Drakes stick together and Humans do their thing in the north, am I right?”
“That’s her.”
“Too bad I never got any dagger skills. I can’t understand how this stupid flipping works.”
“Well, I could go back to the market and ask around. But—I don’t suppose you caught the name of the store.”
“Sausages. Mm. But hey, why didn’t you buy any clothes? I thought all females loved clothes, Drake or Human.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hey, Miss Human! Wait! I didn’t mean it!”
“Now, now. Don’t be jealous.”
“Ow.”
“I know!”
“Good, good.”
“That looks heavy. Here, let me carry it for you.”
“Oh, bite me.”
“Um. Erin something. Sol? Solace? It was something like that. Erin Solace? Did he mention anything else about her?”
“Until later, Miss Erin.”
“You sure? I can carry it in—”
“Really? What kind of rotscale sold you—why did you spend that much money?”
“I really didn’t mean it. It’s just—[Necromancers], y’know? They’re dangerous. And it’s best to kill them on sight. You ever seen a thousand zombies trying to eat anything in sight? Even if they’re low-level, even if they play nice, I could never trust a [Necromancer].”
“Okay, okay. So they weren’t that dangerous. And I was just doing my job; true. But I am sorry. Really. I said too much back there.”
“Look, I know I was sort of—okay, I was rude, but let’s talk. Hello? Are you listening?”
“Hey, I’m telling the truth here. Little Miss Human isn’t that bad. You should meet her. But let me tell you, she can also be pretty annoying. Remember that [Necromancer] guy I told you me and Klbkch tracked down? She wouldn’t let us kill him even after he blasted us both with a few spells. Just kept saying that he wasn’t that bad.”
“It was the last skill I got from my [Sergeant] class. I think you get it in [Spearmaster] as well, but I don’t know. Either way, it’s a life-saver.”
“Right, right. But, uh, good to see you made it to the city. So how’d you like it?”
“It’s not often I get to rescue a damsel in distress. That’s what they call Human females, right? Damsels? Anyways, I saw you were in trouble, so I immediately rushed to help.”
“So, how’s my favorite Human doing? Good? Bad? Um. I, uh, don’t suppose you heard what I was saying. It was just a joke, really. I didn’t mean…”
“How long was she here?”
“Still, she’s interesting. Erin, or whatever her name is. She makes a mean plate of pasta, let me tell you. And she’s tougher than she looks—I didn’t think any Human could survive out in the Floodplains that long. She’s funny too.”
“It is.”
“It was nothing. They’re no threat to me or anyone with a few levels in any warrior class. But don’t worry about those pests. I said I’d make it up to you, didn’t I? I’ll do something about them.”
“No. I mean, there’s food in here, but that’s only a few silver coins at best. I’m sure you had more than that, right? How much did you spend?”
“So.”
“Oh come on. Please?”
“Um. I—”
“Yeah, you get used to that.”
“No. If Klbkch can do it, so can I. Anything that damn bug can do I can do better. But hey, what’s this about a Human? Is it that female one I was telling you about?”
“Two coppers per ear…nah. Stick. Stick. You’ve gotta put them on sticks and—you know what? She can figure out how she wants to mount them.”
“Right, right. Well, if you remembered his face, I could find who sold you all that, but I doubt anyone’d bear witness against him. And there’s not much for me to go on. I mean, he sold you overpriced goods but it was your fault as well. No offense meant, Miss, but how’d you trade a gold coin for a sack or two of flour?”
“What, really?”
“So. You bought food, huh? Making lots of pasta tonight?”
“Hello there, Miss Erin. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Hey! Miss Erin! Wait!”
“Oh.”
“[Iron Scales].”
“Sorry about that, Miss Erin. You see, I was just disposing of the Goblins. Call it me making up for yesterday. But now that they’re gone, the others should leave you alone, especially once I set these up around the inn. Uh, do you have any sticks? I need some sticks or something.”
“Good morning, Miss Human! It’s me, your favorite [Guardsman]! And how are you doing this fine morning?”