Decoding...
Decoding...
503 quotes (503 spoken, 0 mentions)
“Uh—thanks. [Spearmaster]. Me. Him—[Swordslayer]. No, it’s cool. We’re [Guards]. Yeah.”
“Oh, a [Teleportation] spell? Was it a misfire or did someone target you? That’s a Mage’s Guild issue.”
“Oh, right. Those annoying things. What’re they called, Klbkch?”
“Me? I don’t like Humans. They’re scaleless, hairy, and they smell funny. I mean, this one’s nice, but I definitely wouldn’t want to see what it looks like under those clothes.”
“So, a lesser healing potion of no worth, huh? You know, I’ve never heard you lie like that.”
“How are you going to explain that to the Captain, huh? That’s supposed to be special-issue. We won’t even get another shipment of that quality for months, probably! All the way from Pallass once the Blood Fields are frozen.”
“What do you think? I bet she’s some kind of runaway or a child that got separated from her clan. Do Humans have clans? Or is it all [Lords] and [Ladies]? Maybe she’s not even from this continent.”
“What a lonely girl.”
“Not bad! Especially if you just got here a few days ago. Did the notification wake you up right as you were falling asleep? I hate that.”
“Oh, thank you. It’s…blue.”
“Oh, sure.”
“…Yes. Yes, it is. I’m a Drake, not one of the Lizardfolk. There’s a big difference.”
“Shut up, Klbkch!”
“Um. Sorry about that. Really. But, uh, can we talk about that name?”
“Hey, what did you just call—”
“Look. It’s getting sort of embarrassing. I’m not a Dragon. I’m a Drake. And yeah, we’re distantly related cousins, but Dragons are…there’s no way. That would be huge. You said you saw one? You sure it wasn’t a Wyvern? It was probably a Wyvern.”
“…You mean you don’t level in this Michigan place?”
“And you’re an [Innkeeper], right? Got any other classes?”
“So four levels in…? That’s too bad. But you’re young; leveling takes time after all.”
“Hey!”
“They can level. Now, about what you just said. I’m not a lizard—”
“Yeah. You, um, called me a lizard person, right?”
“Oh, that. New classes without an apprenticeship, you mean? Simple. You must have satisfied the requirements for the class, that’s all. I know it’s sort of weird gaining a new class suddenly, but it happens. I knew a guy who gained four levels in [Farmer] just because he kept growing carrots in pots next to his window. Not [Gardener], [Farmer]. I guess it was because he grew lots of carrots. Leveling is weird that way.”
“…Yeah, sorry.”
“Uh, don’t apologize. Look, maybe I overreacted a bit. I’m not, uh, mad…”
“We can breathe fire. Some of us can, at least.”
“Shut up. I’m still sorry. But yeah, there’s a big difference. I mean, sure, Humans say we look similar, but we’re totally different. They have those neck frills, and they’re way too colorful. We build cities out of proper stone, but the Lizardfolk live near water and can breathe underwater too, some of them. They have Naga and, like, jungles in Baleros. Whereas we Drakes like drier climates. We enjoy warm sun, open spaces…”
“You’re just an overgrown ant. You be quiet. Anyways, we’re special. Those guys are just amphibians that learned to walk on two legs. We’re related to Dragons. We’ve got special powers.”
“What? It’s a great power!”
“See? She gets it. Told you it was cool.”
“Ooh, nasty. What happened there? Looks like a bad cut. Were those Goblins?”
“We’re still cool, right?”
“Only a few Drakes can do it, okay? Not breathing fire is perfectly normal. And some of us can, so there.”
“Or, and hear me out. Or…we could have more food and stay here longer.”
“We wouldn’t?”
“Yep. Good thing it’s meant to treat light infections too. Klb, are you going to…?”
“I insist. That blue drink is really good, by the way.”
“Right. Well, let’s be going. Um, sorry about that, Miss. Here, let me just pay for the food…”
“Really? I thought those were birds.”
“Shut up. She just seems lonely, that’s all. Why else would a Human female want to hang out with a Drake and an overgrown bug?”
“Well, we’ll be off then. Good night to you.”
“Oh, I see, I see. That’s convenient. Did you earn them here?”
“But you cooked it, then? Do you have levels in a [Chef] class, then?”
“Shut up. Ahem. We were just sent here to make sure no Goblins or nasty creatures started living here. We’ve got no problem with Humans. Well, at least the non-violent kind.”
“It’s very annoying.”
“Why don’t you shut up and let me talk? Look, Miss Human. You’re probably not sick if you’re still walking around.”
“Right.”
“This really is quite good. How’d you make this all the way out here?”
“Not you, specifically. Really, it could be anything. We thought it might be a random fire or a few Goblins. If there were some stupid kids, on the other hand, we’d be dragging them back right now since it’s dangerous to stay here. Bandits on the other hand…”
“It’s just a possibility. This, uh, place is sort of bad. For your health.”
“A what?”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with you staying here. Aside from dying, that is.”
“And this blue juice tastes good!”
“Relc!”
“Goblins. And by the way, some Wyverns breathe fire too.”
“I told you. It’s flattering, but I’m not a Drag—oh.”
“Um, I don’t know?”
“See, this. This is why no one else is willing to be your partner. Along with you being, y’know, you.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Miss?”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“Sorry, but can we ask you a few questions about where you’re from? It’s pretty odd to find a Human out here, let alone in an abandoned place like this. Not that we mean to pry, it’s just that it’s kind of our job to ask these questions.”
“…So someone on the walls spotted the smoke and called it in. Since it didn’t seem like a grassfire and since we knew this place was abandoned years ago, the Captain decided to send someone to check it out.”
“Ooh! Pasta! This is good stuff!”
“In a moment. Let’s eat first. This looks good!”
“Um, sure.”
“I’ll have a glass if that’s alright.”
“Sorry, sorry, Miss. We’re not here to hurt you, I promise.”
“I can. It’s the things on her chest.”
“Fine. Antinium. Happy?”
“Shut up. Are you trying to scare her?”
“Bastard.”
“Hello, Miss. Sorry if we—”
“Shut up. This is your fault. I told you I should go first. I’m not a horrific Ant.”
“What, are you crazy? Let me talk. That was just a misunderstanding caused by seeing your face. I’ll straighten all this out.”
“You idiot. I told you this is why I should have opened the door.”
“Move over. Let me show you how it’s done.”
“Am I a Dragon? Aha. Haha. Well, that’s just—oh, Ancestors bite me. I mean, do I look like one? I’m not even Oldblood, but maybe I do. Klb, buddy, what do you think?”
“What about the Dragon? Do you think she made that up?”
“Plus, we’d know if a Dragon lived around here. They’re pretty obvious.”
“Yeah. A Dragon? Really?”
“So…scared Human female? Not a threat? Probably a traveller? Makes good pasta?”
“Thank you very much.”
“Be quiet. I’m in a good mood now.”
“Go roast yourself.”
“You’re a regular do-gooder, huh? Trying to level up your…[Good Person] class? Is that a class?”
“Oh, definitely. Right after work?”
“Klb! That’s so devious! We can waste hours and say it was all an investigation! Now you’re thinking like a Drake!”
“Right, right. Let’s tell the Captain and get some sleep. Or rather, I’ll sleep and you do—whatever Ants do to sleep. Sitting-sleeping or whatever.”
“Ew.”
“Shut up.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad we didn’t have to kill her.”
“—It’s not that I’m not interested. I have an open mind! I wouldn’t mind looking. If I was offered. They’ve got nothing on good scales, but I could get over the fleshiness. Maybe.”
“Hello? Miss? We’re not dangerous.”
“No, no. It’s for the best. Mind you, I think she figured it out.”
“Sure, suuuure you were.”
“Of course not. Why would anyone make a healing potion that hurts when you use it? But look at that!”
“What about it? Oh, are you wondering about mine? I’m a [Spearmaster]. This idiot’s a [Swordslayer]. We both have levels in [Guardsman] as well, but not nearly as much as our primary classes. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Of course we wouldn’t eat you! That’s barbaric, and besides, it’s illegal. I mean, okay, sure, it happens sometimes in distant villages, but we wouldn’t do that. Right, Klbkch?”
“Well, I’ll gladly accept. Klbkch, you want any?”
“Excuse me? I’m not a Dragon, Miss Human. I’m just an incredible Drake in service to the City Watch. Me and my idiot partner were on patrol when we noticed the smoke. May we come in? I promise we won’t bite.”
“They have to teach Humans how to level? Weird.”
“Yeah, I’d bet on it. I’m not sure why a Human would be out here anyways, let alone in that place.”
“Even if she was, who’d hide there? You’d have to be mad, or be a [Warrior] or [Survivor] to want to live by yourself. Plus, the plague! Do I look sick? Am I oozing?”
“Pass.”
“Bet she didn’t know. And her expression when we walked in—she’s never seen a Drake or an Ant before in her life. Well, the Ant part makes sense.”
“That’s pretty much how it works. What were you confused about?”
“Great. Thanks. Now, wanna go check on that Human? I hear—”
“Aw.”
“Are you done logging out for the day yet?”
“…Jerk.”
“But—we’re signed out—”
“What? Some idiot had to start a fight now of all times? We were going to go back and—”
“Alright, let’s go. Man, I really hate Captain Z.”
“I know, I know. But I was going to eat more pasta and—”
“She can eat my scales. Let’s go and get this over with.”
“What a pain. Let’s smack some scales-for-brains quick. Maybe we’ll still have time to go to the inn afterwards.”
“Don’t mind Klbkch. He’s ugly even for an ant. But you really can’t see the city from here?”
“Well, well. Theft of a corpse and reanimation, no doubt. That’s another big mark on the list of charges. But necromancy, well, that also means we don’t have to bring you back alive anymore.”
“Well, you’ve got the Skill for it, so it’ll be a breeze. And you can buy a hammer no problem. Just head down to the city, and you can get a good one for only a silver coin or two. Tell you what, if you’re ever in the area, I’ll help you get one at a discount.”
“Don’t be snippy. But it’s easy to spot. Look, you can even see it out the window here.”
“What the—”
“Anyways, we’ve gotta pay a fine if we lose it, so why risk it, right? I only need it when I want to prove who I am or pull rank, anyways.”
“Nice customer you’ve got here.”
“The city? What about it?”
“We’re no soldiers. We’re [Guardsmen]. And we’ve been looking for the bastard who’s been robbing homes with illusion spells.”
“Good morning everyone! Weird Ant behind me, friendly Human, and—oh.”
“You multiplied. Can Humans do that?”
“What? How come you remembered this idiot’s name and not mine?”
“Humans. They’re so—”
“Ooh, pasta!”
“Oh.”
“Really?”
“Ah. Eh. Um, what I meant was—”
“Right. Food. I’ll have some.”
“Aren’t I the better-looking one here? What gives?”
“So, how’re you doing? Level up again?”
“That’s quite useful! Most craftsman and artisan classes get that early on. I guess [Innkeepers] are sorta like that, right? Got to take care of the inn, repair windows, fix tables, and all that.”
“Well…stop it.”
“Sorry.”
“Shut up. Do you have to ruin everything I say?”
“Sorry. Again. But…you said rob? As in, that guy over there tried to rob you?”
“Ooh, congratulations! Did you get a new skill?”
“And…you let him come back for breakfast?”
“And you didn’t think to report him to anyone?”
“Good throw, huh?”
“Oh, but it is, it is! And you’re wrong, by the way.”
“Yeah, it’s great! Hold on.”
“Hey, you!”
“How about you do the magic spell where you turn into a monster? I’d love to see that. Or better yet, do you have a spell to get out of trouble? Because you’re going to need one now.”
“Gotcha. Tried to run from me, did you? No one ever gets away.”
“Klbkch, got anything to tie him up with?”
“Plus, we already know all about you and your crimes.”
“What?”
“Yeah, but he called me a common thug. I want to punch him for that.”
“Wrong? Why would it be wrong?”
“Do we have rules like that?”
“We’ve been looking for you, Mister Mage. Or should I say, the scary creature that threatens travellers and people living by themselves? You’ve been stealing food and money for nearly a month. There’s even a bounty on your head, which I’d love to collect.”
“Ten a what?”
“Oh, good. I got worried there for a second.”
“Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. Me and my friend here will drag you out back, beat you with sticks or rocks for a while, and then drag you back to the city for a reward. Then we’ll give half to our lovely innkeeper here. Sound good?”
“You’re still under arrest. I can hit you. It’s only because I’m being considerate of Miss Solstice here that I don’t. But I will. If you don’t shut up.”
“Yeah. We’ve got to keep it on us at all times. Some guys wear it on their chests, but it can get ripped off. Besides…”
“Right, well. It’s still not—okay.”
“Right. Good. Anyways, we’re the ones with weapons, and you’re just a [Mage]. Not a high-level one either or you’d be teleporting away.”
“Doesn’t stick so well on scales.”
“Really. See, we’ve gotta get at least fifty ordinary citizens to vouch for us before we’re sworn in. And to become Senior Guardsmen like us, you’ve got to get at least four hundred. Impressive, right?”
“Well, he’s right. We do have Skills. They’re part of our classes, although in my case I’ve got [Dangersense]. But I’m also a former soldier. And Klb? He’s the Slayer. We can tell you’re not hot stuff, Human.”
“It’s not just a job. It’s a highly prestigious job! Not just anyone can be part of the city guard, let alone a Senior Guard.”
“Look, I’m not sure what Humans do, but in our city, the city watch isn’t like mercenaries or personal bodyguards. We don’t just sign up. We have to be voted in.”
“But he’s Human.”
“Last I checked, you were within arm’s reach. That means your fancy spells aren’t going to do a thing before I hit you hard enough to make your brains pop out. Trust me. I’ve done it before.”
“Yes, yes. But we’ll just hit you and drag you back so Miss Erin doesn’t see anything nasty. But you’re in serious trouble now, Mister [Necromancer].”
“A rogue [Necromancer] on the loose does nasty things. Even a low-level one can bring down villages if you give him enough dead bodies, and they level fast when that happens. Damn, I’m not going to be the one who let the next Az’kerash get away, Klb. We’re gonna have to hunt this guy down. If we can’t catch him today, I’ll have the Captain send out multiple patrols once we get back to the city. Erin, we have to go, but I think you’re safe if that guy didn’t do anything last time.”
“Less than an hour, but we won’t be able to stay. Sorry. I’ll try to get the patrol out faster, but you know how it is. We’ve got to shift around guardsmen on patrol, set trackers, get armed up, etc.”
“Oh, he’s probably as dangerous as a frog in a fight. That’s not the problem.”
“We thought he was just an illusionist. That’s annoying, but really all he can do is scare folks into giving him things. But a necromancer’s worse. Far worse. We could let him go if he was just a normal [Mage], but we’ve got to find him now, and he knows it.”
“So we’ve gotta go. Why? Are you worried he’ll attack you?”
“Well, yeah. Isn’t it obvious?”
“Hey, Klbkch, coming?”
“What? That’s stupid.”
“And speaking of which…we’ve gotta go. It’s my day off, but we’ll report that annoying Human maggot-mage back at the barracks. If we move fast, we might get him before he runs too far.”
“Oh, sorry we forgot to pay. We’re in a hurry so—put it on our tab!”
“…You mean, you don’t know? By the way, things look smaller in the distance, Miss Solstice.”
“Don’t worry, miss. We’ll do the punching outside where you don’t have to see.”
“Signed up? Can you believe this? Humans.”
“Really?”
“Good, good.”
“No. I’d be able to sense if he were within a few feet of me. This was an illusion spell. A damn clever one, too. He pretended he was here and walked off while we were busy chatting. Most idiot spellcasters aren’t that stealthy or…when did he creep off? Klb, it was when you let go of him! I didn’t even see the chair move—damn, the chair’s an illusion too! Normally I can hear idiots skulking around even on the battlefield! This bastard tricked me! Me!”
“Peh. You should drink. It’ll be the last tasty thing you eat for a long time. Actually, what am I saying? This stuff’s way too good for you. Just remember what you’re missing when we lock you away.”
“No one insults me regularly. Except Watch Captain Z and Klb, come to think of it. People like me. Everyone likes us. We’ve got a special job.”
“Oops. Sorry, did I scare you? I forgot normal people aren’t used to that. Don’t worry—I never miss when I throw.”
“Look, the city’s that way. It’s only a twenty-minute walk, and there aren’t many monsters along the way. Besides, once you get within a few miles, the area is regularly patrolled, so you won’t have any problems. And if those idiots at the gate stop you—which they won’t—just tell them you know me.”
“Okay, that’s it. Close your eyes, Miss—”
“Humans. You’re so arrogant and crazy. It’s almost funny. If you’re so full of powerful magic, dodge this.”
“Don’t worry, Miss. He’s no threat or we’d have taken him out when we first realized who he was. He looked more dangerous than he turned out to be. You see, both of us can tell if we’re in danger or the enemy is strong. This idiot couldn’t even use [Flash Step] properly!”
“Too bad!”
“It’s not a rock. Why are you having a hard time believing me? Can’t you see the buildings?”
“You what?”
“You can’t do that!”
“I can’t believe this. Are you defending him? Because he’s Human? Or do you not want the blood in here? In that case, I’ll take him out back and—”
“He hit me with lightning!”
“But he’s still a [Necromancer]! That’s a crime no matter what he does! And he attacked us!”
“What?”
“What?”
“Cooperate?”
“Last words, [Mage]?”
“That’s what I think of your spells. I’m a former soldier of the 4th Wing of the Liscorian Army. I’ve killed more [Mages] than you have levels. Now, are you going to die quiet or will I have to pay for painting the walls red with your blood?”
“Not likely. I’m gutting you like a fish right here.”
“Still don’t care. I don’t need money if I can get rid of a stinking fleshbag like you.”
“By that? You think a piddly little [Barrier of Air] spell is going to stop me?”
“Stop moving! Hey!”
“You squirming—”
“There you are!”
“Gotcha!”
“But he’s—”
“What? Then let’s arrest her too!”
“Hey.”
“…No. Not without an artifact. Klb, you got an [Appraisal] scroll?”
“He’s a criminal.”
“Nice last words. But remember—your Necromancer died here. Miles from this very spot. The Tidebreaker was his end.”
“Klb! Get over here and help! This guy’s slipperier than he looks!”
“Humans!”
“Shut up.”
“Wait—what did she just say? Jurisdic—we don’t do that, do we, Klb? Buddy?”
“You take one step in the city and I’ll—I’ll—you take one step in there and I’ll do something about it. If I so much as see you on my patrol—”
“Klb—help me out here!”
“No, I can’t.”
“Then I’ll arrest him, and he’ll be executed tomorrow. Happy?”
“Are you serious? One word to our Watch Captain and she’ll send a patrol back to capture this idiot! And if we don’t arrest him, you have a [Necromancer] running around! You want us to let him go knowing his class?”
“I could still arrest him for attacking me. Yeah. I’ll just do that. Who cares about testimony or whatever?”
“Can she?”
“Hello there, Miss Erin. Fancy meeting you here.”
“It was the last skill I got from my [Sergeant] class. I think you get it in [Spearmaster] as well, but I don’t know. Either way, it’s a life-saver.”
“[Iron Scales].”
“Ow.”
“It is.”
“Um. Erin something. Sol? Solace? It was something like that. Erin Solace? Did he mention anything else about her?”
“Too bad I never got any dagger skills. I can’t understand how this stupid flipping works.”
“No. If Klbkch can do it, so can I. Anything that damn bug can do I can do better. But hey, what’s this about a Human? Is it that female one I was telling you about?”
“Now, now. Don’t be jealous.”
“I know!”
“Hey, I’m telling the truth here. Little Miss Human isn’t that bad. You should meet her. But let me tell you, she can also be pretty annoying. Remember that [Necromancer] guy I told you me and Klbkch tracked down? She wouldn’t let us kill him even after he blasted us both with a few spells. Just kept saying that he wasn’t that bad.”
“That’s her.”
“How long was she here?”
“Um. I—”
“Still, she’s interesting. Erin, or whatever her name is. She makes a mean plate of pasta, let me tell you. And she’s tougher than she looks—I didn’t think any Human could survive out in the Floodplains that long. She’s funny too.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, Miss Human! Wait! I didn’t mean it!”
“Oh, bite me.”
“Yeah, you get used to that.”
“They’re interesting and entertaining, but they don’t have much inside their fleshy heads. I’d never trust a Human to have my back. Drakes stick together and Humans do their thing in the north, am I right?”
“So, how’s my favorite Human doing? Good? Bad? Um. I, uh, don’t suppose you heard what I was saying. It was just a joke, really. I didn’t mean…”
“Look, I know I was sort of—okay, I was rude, but let’s talk. Hello? Are you listening?”
“Oh come on. Please?”
“Hey! Miss Erin! Wait!”
“That looks heavy. Here, let me carry it for you.”
“Hey! Slither off, you little bastards!”
“So. You bought food, huh? Making lots of pasta tonight?”
“I really didn’t mean it. It’s just—[Necromancers], y’know? They’re dangerous. And it’s best to kill them on sight. You ever seen a thousand zombies trying to eat anything in sight? Even if they’re low-level, even if they play nice, I could never trust a [Necromancer].”
“Good, good.”
“No. I mean, there’s food in here, but that’s only a few silver coins at best. I’m sure you had more than that, right? How much did you spend?”
“What, really?”
“So.”
“Right, right. But, uh, good to see you made it to the city. So how’d you like it?”
“Sausages. Mm. But hey, why didn’t you buy any clothes? I thought all females loved clothes, Drake or Human.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Right, right. Well, if you remembered his face, I could find who sold you all that, but I doubt anyone’d bear witness against him. And there’s not much for me to go on. I mean, he sold you overpriced goods but it was your fault as well. No offense meant, Miss, but how’d you trade a gold coin for a sack or two of flour?”
“Until later, Miss Erin.”
“It was nothing. They’re no threat to me or anyone with a few levels in any warrior class. But don’t worry about those pests. I said I’d make it up to you, didn’t I? I’ll do something about them.”
“Got you bastards. You can’t run from Relc! Damn, I thought there were three of you? Whatever. If Erin doesn’t love this—now I need to find some wood. Damn. I should be having dinner!”
“Look, I’m still really sorry about before. I didn’t mean—well, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Two coppers per ear…nah. Stick. Stick. You’ve gotta put them on sticks and—you know what? She can figure out how she wants to mount them.”
“Okay, okay. So they weren’t that dangerous. And I was just doing my job; true. But I am sorry. Really. I said too much back there.”
“It’s not often I get to rescue a damsel in distress. That’s what they call Human females, right? Damsels? Anyways, I saw you were in trouble, so I immediately rushed to help.”
“Oh come on. Don’t be like that. I just—well, it was just me being careless, alright? Let’s talk. Please?”
“Look. I’m very sorry, Miss Erin. Let me carry your bag. It must be quite heavy, and this way we can talk without one of us falling over.”
“Really? What kind of rotscale sold you—why did you spend that much money?”
“You sure? I can carry it in—”
“Well, I could go back to the market and ask around. But—I don’t suppose you caught the name of the store.”
“Good morning, Miss Human! It’s me, your favorite [Guardsman]! And how are you doing this fine morning?”
“——? ——. ————!”
“Sorry about that, Miss Erin. You see, I was just disposing of the Goblins. Call it me making up for yesterday. But now that they’re gone, the others should leave you alone, especially once I set these up around the inn. Uh, do you have any sticks? I need some sticks or something.”
“Hey Erin, I’ve just taken care of your Goblin problem for you! Took all damn night, but that’s how much I wanted to apologize. See?”
“——————!”
“——————? ——?”
“——!”
“Hey, what’s gotten into you, Klb? Decided to take me up on a night out for once? Pull up a seat.”
“Good thing you’re here. Let me tell you, that Erin girl? Stupidest Human I’ve ever met. Do you know what she did this morning?”
“Oi, Klb! You won’t believe what that stupid Human did this time.”
“—kill all of the little bastards!”
“Whoa!”
“I don't think she gets it. Humans are kinda slow. You explain the [Tactician] bit to her.”
“Yeah, everyone was talking about the stupid Human who was dumb enough to wager on a game of chess against that idiot.”
“Humans!”
“Hey, you! Yeah, you. I know you. Stop the game. This isn't fair. The bet's off.”
“Are you crazy? You're going to lose this game.”
“You still can't win.”
“No, it's not.”
“You can't.”
“What are you doing?”
“No! Are you stupid?”
“Stop playing. This isn't a fair game.”
“Very!”
“That guy you're playing? He's a [Tactician]. The highest-leveled one in the city!”
“But—”
“All [Tacticians] can tell when they're being led into a trap! They're good at playing these games—they have Skills! Tactics are a [Tactician] thing—it's in the name! How do you not know this? If you play one in a game, they'll win almost every time! Plus, that idiot loves to play that stupid game!”
“Oi, Klbkch. What's she doing? Was that a good move? It looked like a bad move.”
“Right. Let’s start flipping over tables until we find a receipt.”
“You won. But how did—but he’s—you won!”
“Ooh, nice and crunchy! I didn’t know you could eat these things. How’d you manage to get rid of all the acid?”
“Looksh good.”
“Well, that’s the thing. No one knows what’s in those ruins. It could be nothing, but it also could be a ton of magical artifacts and treasure. It’s that big of a dungeon, apparently. Most ruins, well, they’re already explored or too dangerous to dive further into. A new spot like this is going to bring hundreds of idiots into Liscor, and guess who gets to watch them to make sure they don’t cause trouble?”
“Yeah, I’ve never seen you eat like that, Klb! You’re eating like one of those pigs! Or a Gnoll!”
“Exactly! It’s a pain in the tail, and we’re busy enough as it is. Now’s usually the time when we hire new recruits, so we’re going to be understaffed and working overtime.”
“Yeah, and they cause trouble. They pick fights when they’re drunk, they run away from tough monsters, and they’re rude to guardsmen.”
“Adventurers. I hate them so much.”
“Don’t worry. It’s not the right season for them. You’ll see a lot more wildlife around here when the new year begins. This is the quietest time of the year, actually. Once the rains start, you’ll see a ton of weird creatures, and then when it stops, all the animals that travel come here to graze. And in the winter, it gets really dangerous. There’s these things called Winter Sprites, which are a pain in the tail…”
“That weakling mage? No. I mean the bad Necromancer that nearly destroyed the city about ten years ago. Is the food ready yet?”
“Yeah, it was weird having the Antinium around, but it turned out to be a good idea.”
“The Liscorian army is famous. Don’t you know? We fight battles for other cities, and they pay us to kick our enemies to shreds. We field two thousand Drakes and a few hundred Gnolls at any given moment with officer classes. Those are just the officers. Now, we don’t have that many soldiers per officer—sometimes as low as two, but that’s Liscor strategy. When there’s a big battle coming, it’s as many as eighteen per officer. Now, I know that sounds like a small army to you, but their average Level is 17. How about that, then?”
“Goblins?”
“’S good! Good to celebrath!”
“Ooh, is that soup? And bread? And pasta! That’s a lot of food!”
“I’ve heard stories of the Goblin Crusades. And witnessed one myself. The last time one occurred, multiple armies of Goblins rampaged throughout the north and sailed across to the Human continent, Terandria. There were at least a hundred thousand Goblins in each army, and their King had a million Goblins at his back when we pushed his forces out of the south. The Bloodfields.”
“Bastard. The north got him in the end. But it felt like you couldn’t see anything but smoke everywhere you looked. I heard the north was ash in some parts of it. They nearly took First Landing.”
“No one kills them. You think the Hives would be allowed anywhere else? All five of the other ones are in the Hivelands, and we’d be at war with them if the Walled Cities thought they’d win. This is the only city where Drakes, Gnolls, and Antinium mix. It’s probably why we’re not in the middle of a third Antinium War. To everyone else, they’re the monsters who should be destroyed.”
“Like I said, Liscor’s got a lot of natural defenses. Besides, what army in their right minds would want to attack the one city with an Antinium Hive?”
“Oh come on! You don’t know about…? Even if you’re foreign, the Bloodfields are famous! It used to be a battlefield. Well, it still is. Lots of armies fight there, and so much blood has been spilled that the entire place has changed. The entire area is full of Blood Grass. Very nasty. Drinks blood and eats people if they’re not careful. I fought there twice.”
“Good? It’s great! The average level of soldiers in other armies is Level 8. Eight. They have low-level [Conscripts] or [Militia] who don’t see battles. Ours are veterans. Get it?”
“Um, can I have a bowl too, Erin?”
“No problem, no problem. Just put it here and all is forgiven. And oh yeah, we’ve got news too!”
“Who knows? They’re Humans. We have an okay relationship with them. They don’t come over here and stomp on our tails, and we don’t eat them.”
“Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“What’s that?”
“Whath tha?”
“Right, oh yeah. It’s terrible news! Guess what? Some idiot found a bunch of ruins to the northeast of the city, and it’s apparently some ancient dungeon! Now, every adventurer in miles is coming here to explore it!”
“Not as much as this guy, but I wouldn’t mind trying some. I’ve eaten worse on campaign.”
“Yeah, but they don’t have many members. Not many idiots in our city bother becoming adventurers since there’s not much to do around here. If you want to fight, you join the army or the Watch. It’s Humans who are the stupid—um…uh…”
“Where, and how many? Come on, Klbkch. We can head them off—”
“A raiding party?”
“What’s gotten into you?”
“What, are they throwing rocks at you again? If you want, I could—um, scare them. But Goblins? Seriously? After you killed their Chieftain, what’s there to worry about?”
“A raiding party, she says! Hah!”
“Look, if there’s a raiding party out there, we need to take care of it. I can ignore a few Goblins, but a few hundred of them roaming around? That’s a threat.”
“Not that we would.”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah, like Klbkch said, a Goblin tribe isn’t dangerous. Maybe to you—but you killed their Chieftain, so I doubt they’d be brave enough to attack this place. Besides, if you lock the doors and windows, they’ll have a hard time getting in. But when Goblins start appearing in numbers? That’s when things get nasty.”
“That’s just the local tribe. Forty Goblins? Please. I could take out half of them without breaking a sweat. Between me and Klbkch, we could kill all of them—”
“Not to me or Klbkch. Just don’t walk into them, and you should be fine. Most people can outrun a tribe unless they get trapped anyways.”
“Oh, we’ve got a lot more freaky monsters living around here. Way more dangerous. They’re just all sleeping or somewhere else this time of year.”
“Delicious. They’re great if you eat them half-raw. Speaking of which, got any food?”
“Yeah, or that.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“What else? Um. What about Shield Spiders? They’re probably hiding in their tunnels right now, but they’re still around…watch where you step or you’ll fall into a nest.”
“Whatever. It’s not that tough.”
“We used to get a lot of travel down south. But that all stopped when the damn Necromancer appeared.”
“Oh, that. Is that what you Humans call it? We just call them Hollowstone Deceivers. What’s a crab?”
“Hah! Even if all the northern and southern cities burn, Liscor will never fall!”
“Can I at least have a drink? Blue fruit juice?”
“To the north. Duh.”
“Oh. Um, uh, like I was saying to Klbkch, Liscor would never fall! Even if an army did attack from the north, we could just recall our army. Unless they could breach our walls in a week or less, the army would come running right back and smash them. See?”
“Bah. They’re the real threats. War? Huh. We don’t fear war. Our army fights in wars—far south of here! They send back loot, but no one attacks Liscor! We’re too far, and the Bloodfields are in the way.”
“What’s the problem with the Watch, huh? You’re part of it. You know we can take care of any monsters that appear. And if an army does come here, so what? There’s only two ways into this valley. North and south. The mountains are practically impassable, and the Bloodfields guard the southern border. Even if an army comes through, the Floodplains will cut off any chance of siege. What don’t you get about that?”
“Exactly. Any army that runs up against ours knows that if things get serious, they’ll bleed for every soldier they bring down. That’s why we can earn so much money fighting abroad.”
“Nah. They’re almost always out on some campaign. The Liscorian army fights wherever. I think they were in the east, fighting near one of the Walled Cities. Oteslia, probably. They’re easy to siege.”
“Oh, the Ants are great. They’re quiet, they don’t get drunk, and they’re about as interesting as wood—until one of them goes crazy.”
“Anyways, the bottom line is that the Ants defend the city if we’re ever attacked and help out with construction and other jobs. They send some of their people to work in jobs, like Klbkch here. And in return, we let them stay.”
“Celebrathing? Celebrathing whu?”
“You can talk about the crazy Ants later. But right now…food?”
“This city. Liscor. It’s home to a bunch of Antinium—not the violent kind, the peaceful ones. But they live here, so that makes it a Hive. One of six in the world. The Black Tide, the Antinium from Rhir—we are the only city that allowed a Hive to be created. Because they helped fight off the Necromancer. ‘sprobably why no one wants to visit anymore. But hey, it makes us special. And the Ants do help a bit. Right, Klbkch?”
“Looking good. We should put you in clothing though, Klb, my man. Especially for Wishdrinks. Imagine if I walked in with only underwear?”
“Klbkch, you idiot. It’s a gift. Don’t you know what day it is?”
“I was talking about the old days all patrol! And how long Klb’s been in the Watch, and that we should end our patrol early—”
“What? I did! Captain Z—”
“Klb? Buddy? Speak to me.”
“You.”
“This is all your fault.”
“I had a good partner. He was a silent guy and a real idiot, but he was one of the best guys I knew. And then he died because he went and tried to protect a damn Human. We never even—Wishdrinks. It was just two days ago we gave him a badge!”
“I…I don’t want to see you around here again. And if you come running here for help again, I’ll stab you in the gut. Got it?”
“Sorry? Sorry? Klbkch died protecting you! All because you didn’t want to kill those damn Goblins!”
“Stop!”
“Hey! Wait! No fair! Let me take off my armor! And my boots!”
“Humans. Huh. I wonder if Erin knows her?”
“I’m Relc. A Senior Guardsman here in Liscor.”
“Funny person. Anyways. So. What I’m saying is, I’d hate for your visit to get unpleasant, understand? This isn’t a good place for you to cause any trouble like the kind you get up to on your continent. You get—”
“For a meal. Mind putting something on for us? I’m hungry.”
“That’s good. I’d hate for any of that. It seems like every other day I have to deal with uppity adventurers causing trouble. It’s because I’m the highest-level member of the Watch, you know. All the guys always call on me for help.”
“Yoink.”
“I have every right. Or did you forget—you’re still wanted for all those thefts you did earlier. Scaring people—robbing graves—all of that should be nicely covered by this donation to the city, shouldn’t it?”
“So…mind telling me what you’re doing in my city? And, uh, how long you’re going to be staying around here? Not going to start a war, are you?”
“Ow!”
“Oh, right. I think I’ve heard the name before. An adventurer? That’s nice. I thought about being one, but it sounded like too much hassle.”
“So. You’re the famous adventurer entering our small city. Nice to meet you.”
“Who?”
“Yeah, well, I’m just that good. [Spearmaster], you know? One of Izril’s few.”
“Right, right.”
“Ow. Have you gotten stronger?”
“I wasn’t—”
“Nope! Confiscated by the City Watch!”
“Fine. But I’m keeping this. Necromancer Pisces will be allowed back in the city, and we won’t stab him with all his fines paid off—but I’ll be watching him.”
“Sorry, Erin. I just wanted to say hi—after so long.”
“She was really fast! I’ve never seen anything like it! Any other Runner I’d leave in the dust. But her—”
“Hey, I’m doing the best I can! All you Humans—you’re sort of similar. Anyways, I just thought you’d know her.”
“I was wearing armor, and I had my spear, alright? She got lucky!”
“Sure, I mean, maybe, right? She was about your age.”
“She had…black hair. And she was—tall? Taller than Erin. And, uh, she was fast. Ring any bells?”
“Really. I saw you just this morning and thought—well, it would be nice to see a friendly Human again. I had to deal with so many rude adventuring types and annoying mages each day.”
“I try, I try. I’m not the greatest guardsman in the city for no reason.”
“Shut up! Don’t call me that stupid name!”
“Um. Yeah?”
“—By the way, Miss Erin. You…wouldn’t happen to know any female Runners, would you?”
“Hey, I just wondered—that isn’t the only reason I’m here! I was going to tell you about the thief in the city.”
“Way to help, thick-tail.”
“Oh, we know that. The [Guards] would have spotted him entering the city, his stupid invisible trick or not. No, it’s probably just some Human. But I wanted to tell you to hire some protection around here. You got lucky with those Shield Spiders, but you’re not going to be lucky forever. Hire an adventurer already.”
“No, there’s all the dirt and mud and monsters trying to kill you.”
“Miss Erin. How’re you doing?”
“Normally, someone would have raised the alarm, and we’d have put out the fire quick. But it happened late last night, and by the time we got one of the mages out here, it was too hot.”
“Oh, no. When we heard about three Human adventurers getting their tails kicked by an Innkeeper, some Workers, and a few Goblins, we laughed our scales off. We don’t care about what happens to those Humans. Just keep the skeleton away, and if that crazy [Necromancer] tries raising any more bodies, stop him.”
“I don’t care. It sounds creepy, but whatever you Humans like is fine by me. Just keep him out of the city. I just needed to give you a warning.”
“Squiggly things. Lots of white tentacles and flesh. Disgusting. We think there’s some kind of brood monster in there, but no one who goes in that far has come out to tell us what it is. And the rest of the cowards are just clearing the rooms one at a time.”
“He looks—familiar. Just don’t freak out, okay?”
“Right. Well, I’ve got to go back to work. Oh—that’s right. I’m supposed to give you a warning.”
“Maybe if we had time—but we don’t. The Watch is overwhelmed right now. Those damn adventurers keep disappearing into the ruins, and we’ve had to patrol the area to catch all the things that come crawling out of there.”
“Yeah. Apparently you got into a fight with a bunch of adventurers, right? Beat them up and stole their stuff?”
“The damn Goblins. Whatever. Don’t worry; I’m not going to arrest you. I’m just giving you a warning. I also hear you’ve got a pet skeleton.”
“By the way—and not that I care too much, but you should know—there’s a new Prognugator in the city.”
“No one cares.”
“I hope not. Not if I have anything to say about it. I think this one will stay in the Hive.”
“Not just because he was a guard, y’know? He was different. He had a name. I couldn’t believe it when he introduced himself. And he’s the only Antinium I’ve ever heard of with a level higher than 10. He was special.”
“You think the little freaks you’ve been feeding are good? I hear they’ve been fighting a war with the rest of their tribe—when they’re not scaring travellers and stealing their goods.”
“I know. They’re bugs. But Klbkch was special.”
“Too many damn Goblins around. I’d clean them up, but apparently that’s not allowed.”
“Don’t thank me. I just don’t feel like doing more than I have to for my job, that’s all.”
“I don’t really care. So long as we don’t get orders, we’ll leave them alone if they stay clear of the city. Goblins are part of the wild. If you get rid of too many, the bigger monsters don’t have anything to snack on.”
“They don’t even care Klb died.”
“Yeah.”
“A what? They used fire magic. A spell.”
“You’re not dead, so I’d say she took it well. She kept talking about ‘time lost’ and ‘needless valuable resources expended’ when she talked with the Captain. But never about Klbkch.”
“I was looking for you. You busy? Because you are now.”
“This thief has some good magic—and not just the fire magic. A magical item, maybe. And high-level [Guardsmen] do get tracking skills, but almost all of the Watch here are former soldiers. We’ve got more levels in combat classes than our current class. We did have one [Guardsman] with high levels, but that was Klbkch..”
“Low-level mages. And there’s not much call for water magic specialization around here. We had to let the fire burn out and clear the rest of the street before it spread.”
“Oh, it was the mystery thief. Someone caught them last night, and they started a fire to get away.”
“Yo.”
“I’ve got to get back there.”
“Really? You might have trouble with that. Did you hear what happened last night?”
“Everyone’s saying it’s a Human that did it.”
“Yeah, but most of the settlements got destroyed during the wars. Ever since, few people have lived outside of the city. Besides you. And no one goes south unless it’s winter because of the Bloodfields.”
“I know. But you’re different.”
“It was what Klbkch was. Don’t ask me what it means. It’s some important role in the Antinium Hive. Their war-leaders were called that—but Klbkch told me it’s deeper. They’re pretty much like Watch Captains, though. For their entire Hive.”
“We’re working on it. No one’s happy. Normally, we’d have caught the thief, but there are so many of you damn Humans in the city—no offense.”
“Maybe.”
“Now she could eat you and your cute little soldiers for breakfast. Me, she’d probably choke on the way down.”
“You sound just like Klb back—well, back when I first met him. I don’t like that. So shut up and listen since I have to spell it out. Here’s what’s going to happen tonight. Erin Solstice is going to run into the city, probably with that stupid frying pan, and not find you and a bunch of your big Antinium friends. She’s going to go back to her inn all safe and nice.”
“I guess.”
“I like her. Well—I used to. Now, I think she’s a bloody idiot Human like the others. But at least she makes good pasta. And—well, let’s call it a favor. Klbkch died protecting her. I just figured it would be a shame if all his effort went to waste.”
“Yeah. But I don’t like you.”
“I really don’t like you, you know.”
“I’ve heard that a newly grown soldier is the equivalent of a Level 15 [Warrior] for most species. Interesting. But if you think those guys frighten me, I’ll rip a few of their heads off for you. The Antinium never attacked Liscor in the second war, so you have no idea how strong I am.”
“Good for you, I guess. Why are you talking so much, anyways?”
“You don’t have [Dangersense]. You’d better pray you get it, or another skill like it, soon.”
“Well. I—no. I’m going to stand over here until Erin comes by.”
“…Damn bugs. Did Klbkch tell you that?”
“That’s sort of funny. I guess not all of you Antinium are alike, huh?”
“Oh, no. I’ll leave pretty soon. Just as soon as a certain stupid Human girl gets back to her inn all safe and sound.”
“Where is she?”
“Shut up.”
“What? Oh, no, no. I don’t have business with you.”
“Hold it.”
“Stop that. I’m not here for a fight. And neither are you, since I’d win.”
“Sure, inquire away.”
“I’m not following—”
“Would you shut up?”
“I’m just taking a walk. And, uh, a nap. In the rain. Which I do quite often.”
“Maybe. In time. I’m just enjoying myself.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think she will. Do you? And frankly, even if you plan to feed her with a golden spoon, I don’t think I should let you take her.”
“[Indomitable Will]. Anyone without a similar Skill should fall back. This thing—it’s projecting fear. Like a Level 30 [Mage]. Higher.”
“I can try. But give me more [Archers] and [Mages] to get rid of the undead. I can’t have them on my back and that thing.”
“It’s…leaving?”
“Well, that’s just great. If it comes back with another horde, we’re cooked. But what could it want if it wants more victims? There’s only a few farming villages around here and they’re almost all north or west, not east. So where—”
“Yeah, that’s right! Run! Run! Finally met someone with too many scales for ya, huh? Run away and…wait a second.”
“I can. Maybe. Probably. But give me some of those Antinium just to be safe.”
“Relc attack!”
“Damn. This isn’t good.”
“You bastard! [Triple Thrust]!”
“Thanks.”
“Not an officer. I hate fighting monsters.”
“The Ants are immune to whatever he’s doing. So am I.”
“Soldiers, fall back. I’m going to need some room for this.”
“Heya, Captain! Mind if I take this one on?”
“Oh no.”
“Something ugly? It’s—strong. All that dead flesh is like armor. I need to slice it away to get at what’s underneath. But one touch of those hands—”
“Okay, but where is that thing going? Is it going back into the ruins or do we have to worry about reinforcements now? Even without that monster, we’re still up to our ears in undead!”
“Clear a space. Hold the lines!”
““Thanks. I got some of the poison in my mouth.””
““Hey, don’t worry, Captain Z. None of those things can scratch my scales. If there weren’t so many of them, this would be as easy as frying fish.””
““And so we’re going to leave it? I told you, it’s going after Erin—””
““Not like them. I know.””
““I’ll go. The poison’s cured.””
““It’s that damned skin-creature that’s doing it. So long as it’s around, they’re going to keep coming. If you’d let me go after it…””
“Careful, Captain Z. You're running low on air.”
“He’s back.”
“I saw him. I saw—he was leading them.”